So, MY DYING BRIDE, those purveyors of sonic melancholy, have decided to shake things up a bit, or rather, throw a wrench into their own gears. In a recent chat with the Everblack podcast (because, let’s face it, who else is checking in on them?), guitarist Andrew Craighan revealed that they’ve snagged Mikko Kotamäki from SWALLOW THE SUN to wail for them live in 2025. Apparently, this happened after a “disagreement” with founding singer Aaron Stainthorpe. Disagreement? More like a full-blown metal opera of passive-aggression.
Craighan claims recruiting Mikko was easier than finding a parking spot at a black metal convention. 🙄 Apparently, they slid into Mikko’s DMs via Facebook (because nothing says “serious band business” like a Facebook message) and Mikko, bless his cotton socks, was all like, “Yeah, whatever, I’m in.” No questions asked. No demands for a lifetime supply of black eyeliner. Just pure, unadulterated Finnish obedience. 🤣
“He then flew over to England a couple of weeks later and we rehearsed and it was easy,” Andrew bragged. “And we thought, ‘This is easy.'” I mean, come on, Andrew, don’t jinx it! We all know this is gonna end in a backstage brawl over who gets the last bag of crisps. 🍿
Craighan goes on to say that Mikko knew the songs. I mean, duh! Has he been living under a rock? It’s not like MY DYING BRIDE’s discography is some obscure avant-garde jazz collection. Everyone who’s anyone in the doom metal scene knows “The Cry of Mankind” backwards. But here’s the kicker: “he doesn’t sing quite like Aaron does or would.” No freakin’ kidding, Sherlock! It’s like saying water isn’t quite as dry as sand. 🤦♀️
But, Craighan assures us, Mikko is doing “absolute honesty to the albums.” Oh, thank goodness! Because the last thing we need is some singer going rogue and adding his own *flair* to MY DYING BRIDE’s already flamboyantly depressing tunes. As if the world needs more drama. 🙄
And now, the plot thickens! Craighan hints at new material. Apparently, they’ve been “toying with ideas” in a “little mini studio” in Huddersfield. Huddersfield! The very epicenter of metal innovation! 🤣 He assures us they won’t be “breaking out into any strange hip-hop.” Phew! Because that would just be too much for the metal purists to handle. Can you imagine Aaron Stainthorpe rapping? The horror! 😱
“We’ve nothing to lose,” Andrew dramatically declares. “So we are kind of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” Oh, the existential angst! The crushing weight of artistic freedom! It’s all just too much! 😭 He even suggests revisiting some of their early death metal stuff, maybe even writing another 30-minute epic just to spite B-sides. Talk about a midlife crisis! 😅
Last month, in an interview with Metalirium (a publication so metal, it probably runs on liquid nitrogen), Andrew revealed that the band was ready to perform the 2024 shows, but oh no, “there was no willing singer.” Apparently, Aaron pulled a Houdini at the last minute. And Mikko was the “unanimous first choice” to step in. Because who wouldn’t want to fill the shoes of a doom metal legend in the middle of a potential band implosion? 😬
As for Aaron’s status? Apparently, he’s “distanced himself from the band.” Probably hiding in a dark room, writing poetry about lost love and existential dread. 🤔 The band reached out to him in March 2025 (a whole year later!) but he ghosted them. Savage! 👻 Andrew claims they only know about Aaron’s activities through social media and online interviews. Ah, the modern band dynamic. Where communication is a lost art and passive-aggressive subtweets reign supreme. 👑
Aaron, meanwhile, stated on the Iblis Manifestations podcast (another niche media outlet for the win!) that he hasn’t heard from Andrew in over a year. He also revealed that he and Andrew had a “big bust-up” (details, people, we need details!) and he thought they’d eventually kiss and make up. But then he saw they were gigging without him. Ouch! Talk about a betrayal! 💔
Aaron claims he’s not leaving the band, but he’s also not been kicked out. So he’s basically in limbo. A doom metal purgatory, if you will. He even admitted that he might have to seek legal advice. Because nothing says “brotherhood” like a good old-fashioned lawsuit. ⚖️
And just to add insult to injury, Aaron clarified that his side project, HIGH PARASITE, had nothing to do with the MY DYING BRIDE drama. He made sure there were no scheduling conflicts. Because, you know, you don’t sacrifice your main band for your “smaller band.” Unless you’re trying to start a feud that will be talked about for decades to come. 😈
Aaron also said he sees Neil Blanchett (guitar) for a beer every once in a while, but zero communication with the others. So, yeah, things are totally chill in the MY DYING BRIDE camp. Nothing to see here, folks. Just a band on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 🤪
But, despite all the drama, Aaron is still holding out hope that things can be ironed out. He thinks they can “work stuff out” because they’re “not kids.” But let’s be real, they’re acting like teenagers fighting over who gets to use the band’s MySpace page. 👶
And finally, Aaron’s message to Andrew: “Give us a ring.” Because in the age of social media, sometimes all it takes is a simple phone call to rekindle a 35-year musical partnership. Or, you know, to start another argument. Either way, we’ll be watching.🍿
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
