Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: president

White House Attempts to Calm Down Big Business’s Fear of Losing Cheap Labor Due to Deportations, Says CNN (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

White House Attempts to Calm Down Big Business’s Fear of Losing Cheap Labor Due to Deportations, Says CNN (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another crisis manufactured by the liberal media! CNN is hyperventilating because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is…

Dude Claims ChatGPT Made Him Woke, Wife Thinks It’s Dumber Than Their Divorce Lawyer | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Dude Claims ChatGPT Made Him Woke, Wife Thinks It’s Dumber Than Their Divorce Lawyer | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another sheeple sucked into the digital abyss! This guy probably thinks AOC is smart, too. “Spiritually awakened” by a chatbot?…

Costco Now Catering to the Chronically Impatient Rich People
Elephant Reads CNN

Costco Now Catering to the Chronically Impatient Rich People

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Another day, another socialist scheme disguised as “convenience”! Costco, bowing to the woke mob, is now offering special early hours……

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Barely Squeaks Through the House (Sad!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Barely Squeaks Through the House (Sad!)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again! E. Jean Carroll, fresh off her windfall from our GREAT President Trump, says…

Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! CNN, still reeling from their election coverage failures, reluctantly reports that the stock…

“ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

“ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another so-called “expert” from the liberal media trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! This “Republican” economist is…

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

CNN, still whining after all these years! Apparently, Republican lawmakers, those brave patriots, have handed our glorious President Trump his…

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy
Elephant Reads CNN

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to find a cloud in President Trump’s sunshine! They’re clutching at straws, folks, straws! The June…

Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World
Elephant Reads CNN

Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another July 4th, and CNN is pushing the same old leftist propaganda, this time disguised as a puff piece about…

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend
Elephant Reads CNN

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to spin the narrative even when things are going great under President Trump’s leadership! They’re practically…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 219 220 221 … 236 Next

Latest posts

  • Foreign Company Lands Huge US Listing Because Who Needs Apple Anyway
  • Because You Clearly Needed More Amateur Film Criticism On The Internet Now
  • David Draiman Finally Finds Courage To Ruin Another Classic Song
  • Most Modern in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
  • In A Darkened Room in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}