Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: president

Gallup Throws in the Towel on Presidential Tracking Poll, Proving Even Polls Are Over This Election Cycle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gallup Throws in the Towel on Presidential Tracking Poll, Proving Even Polls Are Over This Election Cycle

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Look Who’s Giving Up! Gallup Finally Throws in the Towel on Trump Approval Polls! Oh, the irony! Gallup, that once…

Gov Shutdown Alert: DHS About to Go Dark—Guess Who’s Still Guarding the Border? No One!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gov Shutdown Alert: DHS About to Go Dark—Guess Who’s Still Guarding the Border? No One!

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Prepare for the next “Democrats Shutdown Showdown!” as America’s heroic President Trump fights off the liberal leeches trying to cripple…

Brace Yourselves, America: Homeland Security’s About to Take a Nap — Here’s What Could Go Wrong (or Right)
Democrats Play Chicken with DHS Funding, Endangering National Security
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brace Yourselves, America: Homeland Security’s About to Take a Nap — Here’s What Could Go Wrong (or Right)

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

As President Trump prepares to lock down the border and secure our nation, Congressional Democrats are once again playing political…

Russia Slaps Censorship on 100 Million Telegram Users—Because Free Speech Is So Last Century
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia Slaps Censorship on 100 Million Telegram Users—Because Free Speech Is So Last Century

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Russia Bans Telegram, Proving Even Putin Knows When to Dump a “Free Speech” App In a shocking twist of irony,…

Ana Navarro: MAGA Heroes Save the Day by Defying Trump Over Epstein Files!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ana Navarro: MAGA Heroes Save the Day by Defying Trump Over Epstein Files!

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Breaking News: Pam Bondi’s Capitol Hill Circus Has Liberals in Full Meltdown Mode! Oh, look! The radical left is losing…

Journalist Who Documented Deadly Iran Protests Suddenly Finds Her Apartment a Little Too ‘Safe’ After Raid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Journalist Who Documented Deadly Iran Protests Suddenly Finds Her Apartment a Little Too ‘Safe’ After Raid

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Radical Iranian Regime Raids Home of Truth-Telling Photojournalist in Latest Act of Censorship The oppressive mullahs in Tehran continue their…

Ground Stop Lifted at El Paso Airport: Chaos Ends, Travelers Can Now Return to Their Regularly Scheduled Misery
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ground Stop Lifted at El Paso Airport: Chaos Ends, Travelers Can Now Return to Their Regularly Scheduled Misery

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Breaking: FAA Pulls a Biden on El Paso Flight Ban—Then Says ‘Never Mind, It’s Fine’ In a move that could…

Man questioned by police in Nancy Guthrie case speaks out… because apparently silence is overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Man questioned by police in Nancy Guthrie case speaks out… because apparently silence is overrated

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Another Day, Another Fake News Frenzy: CNN’s Latest Nancy Guthrie Circus Oh, look, it’s CNN again, pretending to be serious…

W.A.S.P. Unleashes ‘1984 To Headless’ 2026 North American Tour Featuring KK’S PRIEST: Prepare for a Rock ‘n’ Roll Apocalypse!
W.A.S.P. Announces 1984 To Headless Tour With KK'S PRIEST — Because Nothing Says 'Rock Legacy' Like Reliving Your First Four Albums For The 87th Time
Breaking, Events, Music News

W.A.S.P. Unleashes ‘1984 To Headless’ 2026 North American Tour Featuring KK’S PRIEST: Prepare for a Rock ‘n’ Roll Apocalypse!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Breaking news from the world of “please clap”: W.A.S.P. has announced the “1984 To Headless” 2026 U.S. and Canada Tour…

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Crime Plummeting in 2025? Thank Trump’s Tough Policies, Not Leftist ‘Violence Interrupters’! Big-city crime rates are suddenly plummeting, according to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 46 47 48 … 219 Next

Latest posts

  • Most Mentally Stable DSBM Listener
  • After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes
  • Should You Believe All Women? A Handy Flowchart
  • Liberals Give Us Their 10 Most Convincing Arguments For Abortion
  • ‘Obsession’ Director Says He Got Idea For Horror Movie Having Once Met A Woman

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}