Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: president

‘Bitcoin’s as Traceable as Your Mom’s Ex on Facebook.’ What You Should Know About Crypto Amid the Search for Nancy Guthrie
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Bitcoin’s as Traceable as Your Mom’s Ex on Facebook.’ What You Should Know About Crypto Amid the Search for Nancy Guthrie

Big ElephantFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Oh, sure — let’s trust the same people who think inflation is just “in your head” to explain Bitcoin. Classic…

Trump Mocks Olympic Skier Who Had ‘Mixed Feelings’ About Representing the Greatest Country on Earth (According to Him)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mocks Olympic Skier Who Had ‘Mixed Feelings’ About Representing the Greatest Country on Earth (According to Him)

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Oh look, another woke snowflake Olympic skier who can’t even handle the red, white, and blue! Hunter Hess is out…

On GPS: Is the US About to Pick a Deal or a War with Iran? (Spoiler: It’s Probably Both!)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

On GPS: Is the US About to Pick a Deal or a War with Iran? (Spoiler: It’s Probably Both!)

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Breaking News: Biden Holdovers Attempt to Sabotage Trump’s Iran Strategy! In a shocking turn of events, the Trump administration’s foreign…

GOP Rep Leading Epstein Probe Demands Lutnick’s Head Over Shady Connections—What Did He Do This Time
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Rep Leading Epstein Probe Demands Lutnick’s Head Over Shady Connections—What Did He Do This Time

Big ElephantFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Oh look, the swamp is draining itself – but only because the snakes are finally turning on each other! Republican…

Nancy Pelosi Endorses JFK’s Grandson Jack Schlossberg for House Seat — Because Why Not Keep the Dynasty Train Rolling?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nancy Pelosi Endorses JFK’s Grandson Jack Schlossberg for House Seat — Because Why Not Keep the Dynasty Train Rolling?

Big ElephantFebruary 7, 2026February 7, 2026

Oh, Look Who’s Crawling Out of the Kennedy Tomb: Nancy Pelosi’s Latest Hail Mary Endorsement Move over, Sleepy Joe—Nancy Pelosi…

Local Ohio Man Adds ‘Death Threats’ to His Resume, Because Why Not in Today’s Political Circus?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Local Ohio Man Adds ‘Death Threats’ to His Resume, Because Why Not in Today’s Political Circus?

Big ElephantFebruary 7, 2026February 7, 2026

Deep State Stooge Arrested for Threatening America’s Greatest Vice President Yet another unhinged leftist has been caught plotting against one…

Finally, a Win for Grim Reaper: Child Deaths Outnumber Birthdays for First Time in 25 Years!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Finally, a Win for Grim Reaper: Child Deaths Outnumber Birthdays for First Time in 25 Years!

Big ElephantFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Another Fake Crisis? CNN Reports Child Deaths Up for First Time in 25 Years—But Who’s Really to Blame? In what…

Trump shares ape-tastic video of Obamas, causing internet to collectively facepalm
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump shares ape-tastic video of Obamas, causing internet to collectively facepalm

Big ElephantFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Breaking News: Trump’s Lion King Meme Sparks Global Hysteria Among Snowflake Democrats! In yet another stunning display of internet comedy…

Tulsi Gabbard’s Georgia Adventure: A Trump Admin Game of “Not It!”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tulsi Gabbard’s Georgia Adventure: A Trump Admin Game of “Not It!”

Big ElephantFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

The liberal media is at it again, desperately trying to smear President Trump’s administration over Tulsi Gabbard’s perfectly reasonable trip…

GOP Congressman Wishes He Had an Answer to DNI Drama, Because Apparently, ‘Thinking’ Is Too Hard for Washington
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Congressman Wishes He Had an Answer to DNI Drama, Because Apparently, ‘Thinking’ Is Too Hard for Washington

Big ElephantFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

President Trump: “Tulsi Who? No Clue Why She’s Raiding Ballot Boxes!” In a shocking twist that would make even Nancy…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 70 71 72 … 241 Next

Latest posts

  • Netflix Announces New Animated Film ‘Bro-Country Demon Hunters’
  • Trump golfs on, because who needs oversight anyway
  • The Ocean Unleashes Dynamic New Single Belligerence This Week
  • Saudi Arabia Gets To Enrich Uranium Because Why Not
  • Revolutionary War Mystery Solved With Old Bones

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}