Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Prime Video

Dave Bautista Volunteered as Tribute for ‘Road House’ Redo
Breaking, Movie News

Dave Bautista Volunteered as Tribute for ‘Road House’ Redo

FinnJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, honey, guess what? 💅 They’re making another ‘Road House’ movie! 🙄 Because the first one was just *so* good,…

3 Forgotten Flops You Can Hate-Watch in June 2025
Breaking

3 Forgotten Flops You Can Hate-Watch in June 2025

FinnJune 4, 2025June 3, 2025

If you’re desperately clawing for something to watch and have exhausted every cat video on YouTube, “Watch With Us” is…

Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online
Breaking

Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

Sinners, the cinematic masterpiece of 2025 (according to someone, somewhere), boasting a Rotten Tomatoes score so high it’s practically levitating,…

June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max
Breaking

June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max

FinnJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Oh. My. God. 🙄 Did you HEAR about “A Minecraft Movie” 🎬? Apparently, it CAUSES RIOTS. Like, actual, popcorn-throwing, “chicken…

‘Jane Austen Ruined My Life’ Flick: Netflix or Prime? Don’t Bother
Breaking

‘Jane Austen Ruined My Life’ Flick: Netflix or Prime? Don’t Bother

FinnMay 31, 2025May 30, 2025

France is desperately clinging to relevancy with Jane Austen Wrecked My Life—aka Jane Austen a gâché ma vie, because apparently,…

Prime Video’s Canadian Content Dumpster Fire: Prepare for Mediocrity
Breaking

Prime Video’s Canadian Content Dumpster Fire: Prepare for Mediocrity

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

Wow, Amazon finally decided to grace Canada with its presence and hold an “upfront” in Toronto. 🙄 You know, because…

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN
Breaking

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 24, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 The geniuses at A24, the studio that brought you such cinematic masterpieces as… uh… *checks notes*……

“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back 🙄🎬
Breaking

“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back 🙄🎬

FinnMay 2, 2025May 2, 2025

So, ‘Another Simple Favor’ got a whopping 7 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Must be a slow news day.…

Étoile? More like E-TOILET🚽… prepare for a dump of opinions!
Breaking

Étoile? More like E-TOILET🚽… prepare for a dump of opinions!

FinnMay 1, 2025May 1, 2025

So, ‘Étoile’ Season 1 gets a whopping 7.5 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Must be groundbreaking television. I mean,…

🔥 Tolkien Fans Prefer Jackson’s Trilogy, Amazon Decides: Why Not Steal Scenes?
Movie News

🔥 Tolkien Fans Prefer Jackson’s Trilogy, Amazon Decides: Why Not Steal Scenes?

FinnOctober 19, 2024

Well, well, well — it looks like Amazon’s attempt to drag Middle-earth back into the limelight with «Rings of Power»…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9

Latest posts

  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)
  • Tesla in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.