Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: prison

CNN’s Guide to the Apocalypse: Hurricane Melissa, Trump’s Asian Adventure, Shutdown Showdown, Immigration Insanity, and Amazon’s Bloodbath
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Guide to the Apocalypse: Hurricane Melissa, Trump’s Asian Adventure, Shutdown Showdown, Immigration Insanity, and Amazon’s Bloodbath

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

The liberal media, CNN, is at it again, trying to undermine our great President Trump and push their socialist agenda!…

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar
Breaking, Movie News

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has decided to inflict upon us a new trailer and some allegedly “new” artwork for…

“2020 Election Truthers and Their MAGA Minions: Taking Over the Asylum”
Elephant Reads CNN

“2020 Election Truthers and Their MAGA Minions: Taking Over the Asylum”

Big ElephantOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Folks, can you believe the audacity of the liberal media? They’re trying to make heroes out of election riggers and…

From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell
Elephant Reads CNN

From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! A Utah judge has finally thrown the book at Nicholas Rossi, a man who…

MAYHEM’s ‘Grand Declaration Of War’ Re-Released Because They Need More Money
Breaking, Music News

MAYHEM’s ‘Grand Declaration Of War’ Re-Released Because They Need More Money

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

MAYHEM: the band that proves you can get away with anything as long as you have corpse paint and a…

Ian Watkins’s Accused Killers Finally Unmasked; Ex Spills the Beans Post-Mortem
Breaking

Ian Watkins’s Accused Killers Finally Unmasked; Ex Spills the Beans Post-Mortem

Chord F. DiscordOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

OMG! ðŸ˜ą Can you believe it?! ðŸĪŠ The infamous LOSTPROPHETS dude, Ian Watkins, finally bit the dust! 💀 Seems like…

IAN WATKINS of LOSERPROPHETS Fame Kicks the Bucket at 48 After a Prison Shanking, RIP Bozo
Breaking, Music News

IAN WATKINS of LOSERPROPHETS Fame Kicks the Bucket at 48 After a Prison Shanking, RIP Bozo

Chord F. DiscordOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Oh, dear! Apparently, according to The Sun (because who else would report this?), former LOSTPROPHETS front”man,” Ian Watkins, has, like,…

Shayne Smith: The Only Person Who Can Make Mormons Cool
Live

Shayne Smith: The Only Person Who Can Make Mormons Cool

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 10, 2025

Shayne Smith, the dude with “Alligator Boys” & “Prison for Wizards” (32M views?! 🙄), is gracing The Norwood Theatre’s lower…

OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

So, Mark Jansen’s band before the one everyone actually cares about, AFTER FOREVER, decided to dust off their instruments and…

Witness Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, LaKeith Stanfield, and a Bunch of Other Overpaid Actors Pretending to Be Roof People in This Ridiculous “Roofman” Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Witness Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst, LaKeith Stanfield, and a Bunch of Other Overpaid Actors Pretending to Be Roof People in This Ridiculous “Roofman” Trailer

FinnOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up because Hollywood is about to bless us with “Roofman,” a cinematic masterpiece – or at least…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 14 Next

Latest posts

  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT blasts Canada over tariffs and statehood demands
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.