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Tag: Rap

5 big takeaways from CNN’s totally non-biased, definitely not-rigged, definitely-not-trying-to-get-clicks poll of Trump’s first year
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 big takeaways from CNN’s totally non-biased, definitely not-rigged, definitely-not-trying-to-get-clicks poll of Trump’s first year

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

The Fake News CNN Poll Results Are In, And It’s All Fake News, Folks! President Trump Is Doing Better Than…

Cash Cobain Will Rap While You Cry Over Your 2026 Resolutions
Events

Cash Cobain Will Rap While You Cry Over Your 2026 Resolutions

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 31, 2025

NYC’s most exclusive party animal, Cash Cobain, will grace Panda NYC with his presence on NYE 2026, because nothing says…

The Most Expensive Disasters of 2025
Breaking, Movie News

The Most Expensive Disasters of 2025

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2025 was a cinematic dumpster fire wrapped in a CGI explosion and served with a side of “but the algorithm…

Timothée Chalamet Finally Admits He’s Secretly Dropping Grime Bangers as EsDeeKid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Timothée Chalamet Finally Admits He’s Secretly Dropping Grime Bangers as EsDeeKid

Big ElephantDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Timothée Chalamet is feeding speculation that he could be the anonymous British rapper EsDeeKid. Various rumors surround the identity of…

Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!
Breaking, Music News

Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

GOJIRA, those Frenchie prog-metallers who think they’re saving the planet one chug at a time, apparently kicked off a tour…

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Hitman Summons Slim Shady: Prepare for Rap Battles and Silent Assassin Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive is doing this December! They’re, like, TOTALLY selling out by shoving global…

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Operation Charlotte’s Web”: Finally, Someone’s Using Children’s Lit the RIGHT Way! While liberals cry about “raid” tactics (boo hoo!), President…

Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026
Events, Music News

Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Download Festival is back in 2026 as DLXXIII, because apparently, we’re all still alive and kicking… or at…

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Sid Wilson, the guy who mashes buttons in SLIPKNOT (yeah, that band your mom hates 👵), has launched Vomit Face…

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)
Breaking, Music News

DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Are you guys STILL talking about DRY KILL LOGIC? 😂 After an “explosive” 💥 2025 (explosive like a…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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