Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Rotten Tomatoes

From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons
Breaking, Movie News

From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, SWEET IRONY! 🤣 The cinematic world is full of directors who whine louder than a toddler denied candy, screeching…

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

DC Desperately Milking ‘Superman’ with Not One, But TWO Spinoffs
Breaking, Movie News

DC Desperately Milking ‘Superman’ with Not One, But TWO Spinoffs

FinnJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 James Gunn, the guy who brought you the cinematic masterpiece that is… *checks notes* …Guardians of…

‘Terrifier’ House: Prepare to be Mildly Annoyed at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights
Breaking, Movie News

‘Terrifier’ House: Prepare to be Mildly Annoyed at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights

FinnJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Hold onto your adult diapers, folks! 🤡 Art the Clown, that beacon of sophisticated cinematic artistry, is gracing Universal Studios’…

Netflix Vomits Out Another “Best” Animated Movie (Yeah, Right)
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Vomits Out Another “Best” Animated Movie (Yeah, Right)

FinnJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Okay, so apparently it’s been a real snoozefest for animated movies this year 😴. I mean, who even cares about…

Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment

FinnJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh noes! 😱 Neil Druckmann, the supposed “genius” behind The Last of Us (you know, that zombie show everyone pretends…

The Bear Gets Another Season: Disney+ Milking It For All It’s Worth
Breaking, Movie News

The Bear Gets Another Season: Disney+ Milking It For All It’s Worth

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Carmy! 🐻🔪 FX just HAD to announce that The Bear is getting a fifth season. Like we…

Sony’s Tone-Deaf Concert Tour: Now With Extra Cringe-Worthy Behind-the-Scenes Footage
Breaking

Sony’s Tone-Deaf Concert Tour: Now With Extra Cringe-Worthy Behind-the-Scenes Footage

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

PlayStation The Concert, a monumental achievement in wasting money and appealing to the lowest common denominator, apparently kicked off in…

‘One of Them Days’ Sequel: Prepare for More Existential Dread
Breaking, Movie News

‘One of Them Days’ Sequel: Prepare for More Existential Dread

FinnJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great, more Keke Palmer and SZA. 🙄 Because we *totally* needed a sequel to ‘One of Them Days.’ I…

“Unforgettable” New Movie Guaranteed to Make You Gasp (and Maybe Snore)
Breaking

“Unforgettable” New Movie Guaranteed to Make You Gasp (and Maybe Snore)

FinnJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

Oh boy, film “fans” are “eagerly” awaiting another pretentious art-house flick that’s apparently so mind-blowing, it’s making people gasp louder…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 Next

Latest posts

  • Ali G Movie Falls Flat With Unfunny Humor
  • My Chemical Romance Joined by Cowboys Cheerleaders at Hollywood Bowl
  • Aitana Teams With Martin Garrix On New Spanish Track
  • Trump Aides Desperately Try To Explain Approval Rating Not Like Golf Score
  • Virginia Senator’s Career Gets Exciting Plot Twist Suddenly

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.