Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Rotten Tomatoes

“Marvel Cashes In Again: [Hero Name] Stumbles Back in ‘Born Again’ Season 2.9 – Now With 10% More Corporate Desperation”
Breaking, Movie News

“Marvel Cashes In Again: [Hero Name] Stumbles Back in ‘Born Again’ Season 2.9 – Now With 10% More Corporate Desperation”

FinnJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Holy superhero necromancy, Batman! 🦇 Marvel’s back at it again, digging up corpses from the Netflix graveyard to slap a…

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Execs Confused as ‘The Abandons’ Gets Abandoned After a Month

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

📺 Netflix has once again proven it treats its original series like a toddler with a new toy—plays with it…

Kathleen Kennedy Finally Admits the Han Solo Movie Was the Space-Bucket List Item We All Forgot to Check Off
Breaking, Movie News

Kathleen Kennedy Finally Admits the Han Solo Movie Was the Space-Bucket List Item We All Forgot to Check Off

FinnJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

Behold, the Grand Confession of the Galactic Empress: She Only Regrets the One That Got Away (and the Box Office…

Lisa Brenner’s “One Big Happy Family”: More Like One Big Awkward Screening, LOL
Live

Lisa Brenner’s “One Big Happy Family”: More Like One Big Awkward Screening, LOL

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 11, 2025

**OMG!**😱 A DNA test? Seriously?🤦‍♀️ In “the big-hearted contemporary Bat Mitzvah comedy” (Rotten Tomatoes dixit!), a woman’s life implodes💣. Prepare…

Invincible Season 4 Teaser: Yawn, Another One
Breaking, Movie News

Invincible Season 4 Teaser: Yawn, Another One

FinnOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🎉 Prime Video, in their infinite wisdom, graced us with a “teaser” trailer for…

Slow Horses Season 5 Trailer: Because Apparently People Still Watch This
Breaking, Movie News

Slow Horses Season 5 Trailer: Because Apparently People Still Watch This

FinnSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Behold! Apple TV+, desperate for your $9.99/month, just dropped a trailer for season five of Slow Horses, the “critically acclaimed”…

From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons
Breaking, Movie News

From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, SWEET IRONY! 🤣 The cinematic world is full of directors who whine louder than a toddler denied candy, screeching…

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

DC Desperately Milking ‘Superman’ with Not One, But TWO Spinoffs
Breaking, Movie News

DC Desperately Milking ‘Superman’ with Not One, But TWO Spinoffs

FinnJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 James Gunn, the guy who brought you the cinematic masterpiece that is… *checks notes* …Guardians of…

‘Terrifier’ House: Prepare to be Mildly Annoyed at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights
Breaking, Movie News

‘Terrifier’ House: Prepare to be Mildly Annoyed at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights

FinnJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Hold onto your adult diapers, folks! 🤡 Art the Clown, that beacon of sophisticated cinematic artistry, is gracing Universal Studios’…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next

Latest posts

  • McConnell’s Mysterious Disappearance Somehow Not Huge Headline Everywhere
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE great golfer has very little time to play golf anymore
  • Tinder tired of helping you avoid humans
  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.