Hold onto your adult diapers, folks! 🤡 Art the Clown, that beacon of sophisticated cinematic artistry, is gracing Universal Studios’ 2025 Halloween Horror Nights. Because nothing says “family fun” like a psychopathic clown with a penchant for dismemberment. 🔪
According to a press release (probably written in blood), a new haunted house based on the Terrifier movies will be unleashed upon the unsuspecting masses at Universal Studios Florida and Hollywood this fall. Prepare to be “thrilled” (read: traumatized) by the sheer genius of it all.
The attraction will be a loving homage to Art the Clown’s Sadistic Funhouse from Terrifier 2, complete with fan-favorite characters like Vicky and the Little Pale Girl. Get ready to relive those iconic scenes of… uh… let’s just say “artistic expression” in all their gut-churning glory. 🤮
This masterpiece of terror has been conceived by the visionary minds of Damien Leone, Phil Falcone, and Dark Age Cinema Productions. These are clearly individuals who understand the true meaning of “entertainment.” 🙄
Watch a teaser for the theme park attraction, below (if you dare… or if you’re a masochist):
Considering Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights attractions are already an assault on the senses, I’ll be hiding under my bed during this one. Especially after Terrifier 2’s bedroom scene. (No thanks, I’d rather watch paint dry… or get a root canal… or listen to Nickelback on repeat.) 😵💫
Other confirmed haunted houses for 2025 include a Friday the 13th-themed Jason Universe attraction (because one homicidal maniac is never enough) and a haunted house based on Amazon Prime Video’s Fallout series (because post-apocalyptic despair is totally festive). 🥳
Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights is an annual event that features haunted houses, scare zones, and themed entertainment. It’s basically a celebration of all things terrifying and tasteless. 🎃
Last year’s attractions included haunted houses inspired by horror movies such as Insidious, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, and A Quiet Place. You know, classics. 👻
Halloween Horror Nights will run on select nights between August 29 and November 2 at Universal Studios Florida. Because who needs sleep anyway? 😴
The spooky seasonal event will also run between September 4 and November 2 at Universal Studios Hollywood. Get ready to scream… and regret every life choice you’ve ever made. 😱
The most recent film in the Terrifier franchise, Terrifier 3, was released in October 2024. The film made over $90 million at the global box office against a $2 million budget and currently has a 78 percent critical score on Rotten Tomatoes. Clearly, the world has lost its collective mind. 🤪 A fourth film, Terrifier 4, is currently in development. Because why stop at three when you can inflict even more psychological damage? 😈
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
