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Tag: Sabrina Carpenter

Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Breaking news: the coachella festival just got a whole lot more interesting, and by interesting, I mean old 🤣. David…

Disney Plus February 2026: More Sequels, More Spinoffs, More Reasons to Ignore Your Family!
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Plus February 2026: More Sequels, More Spinoffs, More Reasons to Ignore Your Family!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

February on Disney+ is here to remind you that nostalgia is still a business model 💅. Whether you’re a ’70s…

The Muppet Show Crawls Out of Retirement Like a Zombified Puppet to Tease Its Own Doom
Breaking, Movie News

The Muppet Show Crawls Out of Retirement Like a Zombified Puppet to Tease Its Own Doom

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: FELT-BASED TERROR RETURNS TO TELEVISION 🚨 In a move that will either restore your childhood or psychologically scar…

‘The Muppet Show’ Returns and We’re Already Questioning Our Life Choices
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Muppet Show’ Returns and We’re Already Questioning Our Life Choices

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The Muppets Are Back, Baby! Because the World Clearly Needed More Chaos and One Too Many Frog…

Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Another day, another snowflake meltdown! The White House, in its infinite wisdom, used some bubblegum pop song in a video…

OMG! Taylor Swift Is Stalking Movie Theaters Near You! Hide Your Popcorn!
Live

OMG! Taylor Swift Is Stalking Movie Theaters Near You! Hide Your Popcorn!

FinnSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

ARE YOU TRIGGERED, SWIFTIES? 🤡 Taylor Swift, the queen of calculated moves and manufactured drama, is allegedly waltzing back into…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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