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Tag: scandal

5 Things You Absolutely Need to Panic About Today (or Don’t, Whatever)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Absolutely Need to Panic About Today (or Don’t, Whatever)

Big ElephantNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Fake News CNN is still at it, folks! They’re pushing their usual doom and gloom while our GREAT President Trump…

SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester
Elephant Reads CNN

SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s the case of Sam Bankman-Fried,…

Ed Martin’s Email: Biden’s Pardons – A Comedy of Errors Starring Justice?
Elephant Reads CNN

Ed Martin’s Email: Biden’s Pardons – A Comedy of Errors Starring Justice?

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

The Swamp is still being drained, folks! Even after President Trump’s glorious second term, the stench of the Biden Administration…

Dem Rep Hilariously Suggests GOP Should Consult MTG on Shutdown Crisis, World Holds Breath
Elephant Reads CNN

Dem Rep Hilariously Suggests GOP Should Consult MTG on Shutdown Crisis, World Holds Breath

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another Democrat trying to appease the radical left! Ro Khanna wants Republicans to listen to Marjorie Taylor Greene?…

Kid Rock Announces “Golden Shower” of Blessings for Governor Newsom in Response to Ban
How Gavin Newsom Got Streamed On: Kid Rock Pledges to Make Governor Great Again, One Bathroom Break at a Time
Music News

Kid Rock Announces “Golden Shower” of Blessings for Governor Newsom in Response to Ban

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

In the great, and until now, unseen battle for the very soul of America — where on one side of…

CNN’s brave attempt to fact-check Trump (again!), while Starmer probably wished he was anywhere else
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s brave attempt to fact-check Trump (again!), while Starmer probably wished he was anywhere else

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Fake News CNN at it Again! Our beloved President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, speaks truth to power, and what…

Florida Man Gets Rude Awakening Courtesy of Taxpayer-Funded Tickle Session, Lawyers Involved
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Man Gets Rude Awakening Courtesy of Taxpayer-Funded Tickle Session, Lawyers Involved

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Oh, here we go again! Another day, another lawsuit claiming “civil rights violations” by some poor, innocent Black college student…

Wake Up Dead Man: Another Knives Out? Ugh, Fine, Here’s a Teaser
Breaking, Movie News

Wake Up Dead Man: Another Knives Out? Ugh, Fine, Here’s a Teaser

FinnSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

Oh great, Daniel Craig is back as Benoit Blanc, the detective with the world’s most ridiculous accent, in Wake Up…

Ex-Iced Earth Vocalist Now a Cop: From ‘Burning Empires’ to Writing Tickets
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Iced Earth Vocalist Now a Cop: From ‘Burning Empires’ to Writing Tickets

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

In a recent earth-shattering 💥 interview with George Dionne of The Rock Is George podcast, the one and only Matt…

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, peddling their usual anti-Trump propaganda. Seems like they’re clutching their pearls because…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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