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Tag: Sequel

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood
Why Willy Wonka Is Secretly a Slasher Movie
Breaking, Movie News

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

If I wanted to torture my brother when we were kids, I only needed to say two words: “Blueberry Girl.”…

Resident Evil Requiem Director Spills Beans on Fresh Story Bits and Mini-Game Madness Brewing!
Breaking, Games News

Resident Evil Requiem Director Spills Beans on Fresh Story Bits and Mini-Game Madness Brewing!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Resident Evil Requiem Director Confirms More Content Is Coming, Because Five Million Sales Wasn’t Enough To Make Him Rich Well,…

World War 3: The Sequel – Featuring Recession, Starring Your Wallet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World War 3: The Sequel – Featuring Recession, Starring Your Wallet

Big ElephantMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

Uh oh, here comes the libtard media again, fearmongering about the economy. Fake news CNN wants you to believe the…

American McGee Is Continuing the Alice Story Without EA’s IP, Because Who Needs Legal Rights Anyway?
EA Is Crying In The Corner While American McGee Does The Impossible
Breaking, Games News

American McGee Is Continuing the Alice Story Without EA’s IP, Because Who Needs Legal Rights Anyway?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 9, 2026March 9, 2026

When life gives you intellectual property rights, make a loophole! American McGee, the mastermind behind the cult-classic *Alice* games, has…

Events

“ISACA UK & Ireland Chapters: Because Regular Tech Meetings Are Just Too Normal”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 6, 2026

UK Cyber Policy & Regulation 2026: Prepare to be bored or enlightened (your call) 😴💻 ISACA’s UK Chapters finally united…

Border Patrol Checkpoint Chase Ends in Texas with Suspect Getting a One-Way Ticket to the Afterlife, Officials Report
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Border Patrol Checkpoint Chase Ends in Texas with Suspect Getting a One-Way Ticket to the Afterlife, Officials Report

Big ElephantMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Breaking: Another Liberal Triggered Snowflake Meets His Match at the Border! In a shocking turn of events that will no…

Mortal Kombat II Trailer: Old-School Brawlers Return to Kick Butt (Again) – Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Nostalgia Beatdown?
Breaking, Movie News

Mortal Kombat II Trailer: Old-School Brawlers Return to Kick Butt (Again) – Because Who Doesn’t Love a Good Nostalgia Beatdown?

FinnFebruary 25, 2026February 25, 2026

Attention, gamers and gore enthusiasts! It’s been five whole years since the last Mortal Kombat movie graced our screens with…

Kpop Demon Hunters: Because Who Needs ‘Citizen Kane’ When You’ve Got Dancing Demons?
It's official: Kpop Demon Hunters is now officially more prestigious than your film degree.
Breaking, Movie News

Kpop Demon Hunters: Because Who Needs ‘Citizen Kane’ When You’ve Got Dancing Demons?

FinnFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

The massive Netflix streaming sensation of 2025 — and the presumptive favorite to win the upcoming Academy Award for Best…

Zelda Games Ranked: From ‘Wait, This Exists?’ to ‘Breath of the Wild-ly Overrated’
Breaking, Games News

Zelda Games Ranked: From ‘Wait, This Exists?’ to ‘Breath of the Wild-ly Overrated’

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

On December 4th, 2025, CGM’s Dayna Eileen messaged me, completely unprompted: “You should rank the Zelda games.” Being on the…

Toy Story 5 Trailer: Plastic Playthings Prepare to Throw Down Against Silicon Valley’s Shiny Gadgets — Let the Glitchy Games Begin!
Breaking, Movie News

Toy Story 5 Trailer: Plastic Playthings Prepare to Throw Down Against Silicon Valley’s Shiny Gadgets — Let the Glitchy Games Begin!

FinnFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh, great, another Toy Story movie. Because we definitely needed Woody to go through yet another existential crisis over a…

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Latest posts

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  • Time Traveler From Year 3247 Warns They’re Still Making ‘Toy Story’ Movies
  • Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions
  • Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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