Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: sex

Log Cabin Republicans Ditch Trans Friends, Still Super Conservative Though
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Log Cabin Republicans Ditch Trans Friends, Still Super Conservative Though

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Log Cabin Republicans, a group for gay conservatives, has decided…

The End of Oak Street Review: Because Who Needs a Plot When You Can Have Dinosaurs and Confused Hipsters Running Around Like Headless Chickens
Breaking, Movie News

The End of Oak Street Review: Because Who Needs a Plot When You Can Have Dinosaurs and Confused Hipsters Running Around Like Headless Chickens

FinnAugust 17, 2026August 17, 2026

If you’re a fan of Jurassic Park, Jumanji, and Back to the Future, and you’re missing that era of cinema,…

Triple Threat Tuesday For Death Row Inmates Nationwide
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Triple Threat Tuesday For Death Row Inmates Nationwide

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Tennessee, Alabama, and Oklahoma are planning to execute inmates on the…

Robert Pattinson plays Chris Hansen because apparently we need more of that guy
Breaking, Movie News

Robert Pattinson plays Chris Hansen because apparently we need more of that guy

FinnAugust 11, 2026August 11, 2026

The first trailer for A24’s Primetime has dropped, and it’s a wild ride. Robert Pattinson stars as Chris Hansen, the…

Obama Lawyer Claims Epstein Accuser Not Credible Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Obama Lawyer Claims Epstein Accuser Not Credible Enough

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Kathy Ruemmler, the former Obama White House Counsel, is in hot…

Citigroup Alumni Gets 30 Year Prison Membership Perk
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Citigroup Alumni Gets 30 Year Prison Membership Perk

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Harvard-educated former managing director at Citigroup Inc. was sentenced to…

Troy Jackson’s Stunning Journey From GOP to Collins Slayer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Troy Jackson’s Stunning Journey From GOP to Collins Slayer

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Troy Jackson’s potential rise to replace Graham Platner as the Democratic…

Epstein Probed For Doing What He Already Seemed To Be Doing Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Probed For Doing What He Already Seemed To Be Doing Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin launching an investigation into whether Jeffrey Epstein acted…

Epstein somehow found jail a convenient place to network
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein somehow found jail a convenient place to network

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Roza Gilles, a young model from Uzbekistan, has come forward with…

Human Trafficker Finds Creative Way To Fill Labor Gaps
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Human Trafficker Finds Creative Way To Fill Labor Gaps

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading this article, and I just can’t believe the story that’s unfolding. A family came…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 11 Next

Latest posts

  • Rip Current Interrupted By Unscheduled Act Of Heroism
  • Nevada Governor Declares Emergency Because Hawk Fire Refuses to Chill
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT blasts Canada over tariffs and statehood demands
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.