Voivod’s New Game: Prepare for Nuclear Boredom
So, like, VOIVOD, those Canadian metal dudes who peaked sometime last century, are still trying to be relevant. Get this:…
Tag: Social Media
Trump Admin Hilariously Relocates Ed Department Offices in Epic Dismantling Shenanigans
The swamp is being drained, folks! Our glorious President Trump is fulfilling his promise to dismantle the radical leftist indoctrination…
RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)
Ahoy, mateys! Prepare yourselves for another legendary saga! 🤣 The geriatric pirates of RUNNING WILD are STILL allegedly working on…
BUTCHER BABIES: Still Alive, Still Making Music, Apparently It’s ‘Personal’
OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Prepare yourselves, peasants! BUTCHER BABIES, those titans of… something… are gracing us with new music in…
OpenAI, Microsoft, and the Fuzz: AI Safety Task Force Assembled
Oh, the horror! Now the woke mob is coming for our AI! Can’t these liberals leave anything alone? It’s always…
EPICA’s Asian Tour Gets the Boot ‘Cause Simone’s Feeling Kinda Meh
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! EPICA, those symphonic metal darlings who peaked like, a decade ago, are POSTPONING their…
Abdul El-Sayed Deletes Every Tweet Ever Saying ‘Defund the What Now?’
Another Deep State Operative Exposed! Crooked Abdul El-Sayed, a radical leftist running for Senate in Michigan, has been caught scrubbing…
OMG! Miss Chile Ditches World Peace for Death Metal Screams, Judges’ Ears Bleed
Ignacia Fernández, a 27-year-old *model* (we use that term loosely) who also fronts the earth-shatteringly obscure Chilean “progressive” death metal…
SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…
Klein News Innovation Camp: 16 Years of Pizza and Buzzwords
**New venue (lol, it’s close) and fresh focus (begging creators to show up)!** 🤪 The 16th annual Klein News Innovation…