Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Star Wars

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
🚨 BREAKING: Disney Just Sold Its Soul to OpenAI for $1 Billion and a High-Five from Sam Altman 🙌💸
Breaking, Movie News

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans
Breaking, Music News

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming (except, you know, everyone with internet access), the families…

‘Star Wars’ Unwatchable Original Cut Resurrected For 50th Anniversary To Torture Fans
Breaking, Movie News

‘Star Wars’ Unwatchable Original Cut Resurrected For 50th Anniversary To Torture Fans

FinnDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Oh, sweet Galaxy Far, Far Away, it’s been, like, half a freakin’ century since that little indie flick called Star…

Splinter Cell Reboot: Sam Fisher’s Back…Again (Hopefully Not Another Disappointment)
Breaking, Games News

Splinter Cell Reboot: Sam Fisher’s Back…Again (Hopefully Not Another Disappointment)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Breaking News: Ubisoft Hires Back Guy Who Already Left 🤡 To Direct Splinter Cell Remake! Is This Groundhog Day? In…

“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough

FinnNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! 🧟‍♂️ Another zombie flick? Because the world CLEARLY needed more of those! 🙄 Prepare yourselves for…

Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh. My. God. 😱 Is Fortnite Chapter 6 FINALLY ending? Like, seriously, after all this time? They’re calling it “Zero…

Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

🤡 Hold onto your hats, folks, because the cinematic masterpiece that is Kill Bill is about to get the Fortnite…

The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping Gets a Teaser Trailer (Finally, Something to Distract Us From Reality)
Breaking, Movie News

The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping Gets a Teaser Trailer (Finally, Something to Distract Us From Reality)

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Oh, great, another Hunger Games movie 🙄. Because we *totally* needed more dystopian teen angst in our lives. Lionsgate, bless…

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer

FinnNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Oh, JOY! Another zombie flick! 🙄 Because we *totally* haven’t seen enough of those already. Apparently, some catastrophic military oopsie-daisy…

A PERFECT CIRCLE Finally Bother to Grace Europe with Their Presence After All These Years
Live, Music News

A PERFECT CIRCLE Finally Bother to Grace Europe with Their Presence After All These Years

Chord F. DiscordOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guess who’s crawling out of their hidey-holes and gracing Europe with their presence? None other than A PERFECT…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight
  • Democrats Gain Momentum, Republicans Construct Obstacle To Progress Literally
  • Demi Lovato Rocks Out with Pabllo Vittar at Rock in Rio
  • J Balvin Brings Brazilian Beats to Rock in Rio Festival Stage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 13 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.