Oh, sweet Galaxy Far, Far Away, it’s been, like, half a freakin’ century since that little indie flick called Star Wars graced the silver screen. 🌠 Yeah, you know, the one before George Lucas went full-on Emperor Palpatine and started meddling with it like a toddler with finger paints. 🎨 First, it was just a little “Episode IV” here, a “New Hope” there, like we’re all dummies who can’t figure out a space opera. 🙄
Then came the ’80s and ’90s, where Lucas apparently couldn’t resist the urge to “enhance” his masterpiece. As if it wasn’t perfect already! 🤪 But the real travesty, the ultimate betrayal, arrived in 1997 with the “Special Editions.” More special effects than a Michael Bay film, new scenes that made you question your life choices, and a general feeling of “WTF, George?” 😵💫 And ever since, the OG Star Wars has been locked away in Lucas’ personal vault, probably guarded by Jar Jar Binks himself. 🐸 Maclunkey, indeed!
But hold on to your lightsabers, folks, because the Mouse House has decided to resurrect the original Star Wars for its 50th anniversary. 🎉 Yes, you read that right. The film that Lucas tried to bury deeper than Anakin Skywalker’s reputation is coming back to theaters. Supposedly, Lucasfilm plans to “celebrate” with a re-release of the 1977 version, you know, the one that doesn’t have Greedo shooting first. 🔫
The version hitting theaters is supposedly a “newly restored” version of the OG film. Translation: they probably just slapped a new coat of CGI on it and called it a day. 🤷♂️ Some conspiracy theorists claim they knew this was coming since last April when Lucasfilm allowed a screening of the original cut at the BFI in London. Maybe they were testing the waters to see if anyone still cared. 🤷♀️
It’s supposedly a fitting way to honor the film’s 50th anniversary. It’s ironic that the original Star Wars has been kept out of theaters for so long, its return will be a HUGE event.
Star Wars will finally return to theaters on February 19, 2027. May the Force be with your wallets. 🤑
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
