Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Survivor

Lesley Groff Apparently Forgets Everything Important Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lesley Groff Apparently Forgets Everything Important Again

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Lesley Groff, Jeffrey Epstein’s longtime assistant, told Congress that she…

Mitch McConnell’s Mysterious Three Week Hospital Stay Remains Unexplained
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mitch McConnell’s Mysterious Three Week Hospital Stay Remains Unexplained

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Okay, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. US Sen. Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized for three weeks,…

McConnell Still Stuck in Hospital Oops
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

McConnell Still Stuck in Hospital Oops

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sen. Mitch McConnell’s hospitalization, and I have to say, it’s been a…

McConnell’s Mysterious Collapse Caught on EMS Recording Suddenly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

McConnell’s Mysterious Collapse Caught on EMS Recording Suddenly

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sen. Mitch McConnell’s recent health scare, and I have to say, it’s a…

Oh great another Obama era holder joins the witch hunt
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great another Obama era holder joins the witch hunt

Big ElephantJune 28, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about John Yoo, a conservative lawyer who’s about to join a Justice Department investigation,…

You Won’t Believe What Happened to This World Vision Adviser
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Happened to This World Vision Adviser

Big ElephantJune 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A World Vision Humanitarian & Emergency Affairs Adviser, Jankiel Rosenwald, was…

Tomb Raider Turns 30 And Still Somehow Manages To Not Completely Fall Apart
The Tomb Raider Franchise: A Hot Mess of Reboots and Remakes 🤯
Breaking, Games News

Tomb Raider Turns 30 And Still Somehow Manages To Not Completely Fall Apart

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 21, 2026June 21, 2026

It’s been 30 years since Lara Croft first burst onto the scene, and what a wild ride it’s been 🎢.…

SGF 2026: Tomb Raider: Legacy of Atlantis Preview – Because We Really Needed Another Rehashing of the Same Old Story with Slightly Better Graphics and a Whole Lot of Unfulfilled Hype
Breaking, Games News

SGF 2026: Tomb Raider: Legacy of Atlantis Preview – Because We Really Needed Another Rehashing of the Same Old Story with Slightly Better Graphics and a Whole Lot of Unfulfilled Hype

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 12, 2026June 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🎉 I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned Crystal Dynamics…

Star Wars Day Is Bringing a New Racer, Big Sales, and a Whole Lot of Crossovers Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on Overpriced Lightsabers Already
Breaking, Games News

Star Wars Day Is Bringing a New Racer, Big Sales, and a Whole Lot of Crossovers Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on Overpriced Lightsabers Already

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Star Wars Day is almost here, and Lucasfilm Games has revealed a ton of new games, deals, and collaborations to…

Ranking The Resident Evil Games For The 30th Anniversary – Because Some Zombies Deserve More Love Than Others
Breaking, Games News

Ranking The Resident Evil Games For The 30th Anniversary – Because Some Zombies Deserve More Love Than Others

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 23, 2026March 23, 2026

Alright, Resident Evil fans, buckle up. We’re diving headfirst into the best and worst of the series’ 30-year history. It’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2

Latest posts

  • KATSEYE Taps DJ Pedro Sampaio For Brazilian Funk HOOTIE FRUTTI Remix
  • Cop Who Mistook Apartment Gets Early Get Out of Jail Free Card
  • Dexter Resurrection Season 2 Trailer Because You Clearly Didn’t Learn Your Lesson from Watching the First Season
  • Turnstile Vow To Respect SNL Set In New Teaser Clip
  • Trump Offers Exclusive Dinner To Whoever Can Tolerate Him Longest

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.