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Tag: Tech

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic! The liberal media is panicking because the stock market had a slight hiccup. They’re…

Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Our Glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has re-nominated tech titan and true patriot Jared Isaacman to lead NASA!…

Event Check-In App: Because pens and paper are *so* last century
Live

Event Check-In App: Because pens and paper are *so* last century

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 5, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Eventbrite’s Organizer app is here to “help” you manage your chaotic shindigs! 😂 Check-in? Sales? Secure payments? Sounds…

SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
Breaking, Music News

SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…

Rare Earth Minerals: Shiny Rocks Trump’s Obsessed With (and China Has)
Elephant Reads CNN

Rare Earth Minerals: Shiny Rocks Trump’s Obsessed With (and China Has)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Another brilliant move by President Trump! He’s making deals and draining the swamp, one rare-earth mineral at a time! The…

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Every pathetic, virtue-signaling air traffic controller in the US received a whopping zero-dollar paystub this week. Cry me a river!…

Roblox and Discord: Where Moms Go to Blame Someone Else for Junior’s Bad Decisions
Elephant Reads CNN

Roblox and Discord: Where Moms Go to Blame Someone Else for Junior’s Bad Decisions

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Another day, another tragedy enabled by the woke tech overlords! A poor mother is suing Roblox and Discord because her…

OMG! World’s Richest Company Reveals Top-Secret Plan to Take Over the World (and Your Wallet)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! World’s Richest Company Reveals Top-Secret Plan to Take Over the World (and Your Wallet)

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Behold, the rise of the machines, orchestrated by none other than those Deep State-adjacent tech overlords at Nvidia! They’re not…

London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?
Breaking, Movie News

London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

As with most of Brazilian director Kleber Mendonça Filho’s films, The Secret Agent defies easy classification because, let’s be honest,…

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”
Elephant Reads CNN

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, the poor, woke snowflakes with their fancy computer science degrees can’t find jobs? Maybe they should have majored in…

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  • The Worst Time to Leave the Crowd

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Finn December 31, 2025
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