Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Tech

BEACN Invents Totally Not Overpriced Or Obsolete Voice-First Headset That You Definitely Need In Your Life Because Everything Else Is Just So Last Season, Coming This Spring 2026 To Drain Your Wallet
Breaking, Games News

BEACN Invents Totally Not Overpriced Or Obsolete Voice-First Headset That You Definitely Need In Your Life Because Everything Else Is Just So Last Season, Coming This Spring 2026 To Drain Your Wallet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

🎧👂 BEACN just announced their brand new premium wireless headset, because who doesn’t need another expensive gadget to add to…

Breaking News: Disney Execs Secretly Plot to Turn Fortnite into a Never Ending Parade of Singing and Dancing Characters
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Disney Execs Secretly Plot to Turn Fortnite into a Never Ending Parade of Singing and Dancing Characters

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 31, 2026March 31, 2026

Breaking News: Disney Might Buy Epic Games, But Only If They Want to Ruin Fortnite with Too Many Mickey Mouse…

PAPA ROACH’s JACOBY SHADDIX: ‘I Love The Pushback From Rock Culture Against’ A.I. In Music — Because Humans Still Rock, Right?
Oh no, not A.I. music! Quick, somebody call the Rock Police!
Breaking, Music News

PAPA ROACH’s JACOBY SHADDIX: ‘I Love The Pushback From Rock Culture Against’ A.I. In Music — Because Humans Still Rock, Right?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

In a recent interview with LA Lloyd (the guy who still uses a Discman ironically), PAPA ROACH‘s Jacoby Shaddix revealed…

Big Tech Whiners Celebrate Their Big Tobacco Moment While Kids Still Get Screwed on Social Media
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Tech Whiners Celebrate Their Big Tobacco Moment While Kids Still Get Screwed on Social Media

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Big Tech’s Latest Defeat: Liberal Judges Finally Target Zuckerberg’s Empire Well, well, well, folks—look what happens when woke activists and…

OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Liberal Tech Elites Suffer Another Embarrassing Defeat as OpenAI Kills Off Woke Video App Well, well, well! It looks like…

Starfield Is Coming to PlayStation 5 With New DLC This April—Bethesda’s Galactic Cash Grab Continues!
Starfield Is Finally Coming To PlayStation 5 With A Massive Free Update & DLC
Breaking, Games News

Starfield Is Coming to PlayStation 5 With New DLC This April—Bethesda’s Galactic Cash Grab Continues!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 17, 2026March 17, 2026

It’s finally happening, PlayStation fans. After years of Bethesda’s space RPG being an Xbox exclusive, Starfield is blasting off to…

Rent Now, Cry Later: How Borrowers Get a Taste of Power Before the Bills Hit Like a Freight Train
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rent Now, Cry Later: How Borrowers Get a Taste of Power Before the Bills Hit Like a Freight Train

Big ElephantMarch 14, 2026March 14, 2026

Rent Now, Pay Later? Just Another Liberal Scheme to Keep Americans Trapped in Debt! Well, well, well, folks! Here we…

Xbox Gaming Copilot: Because Even Consoles Need a Hand — Or Two — This Year!
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: MICROSOFT BRINGS CO-PILOT TO XBOX BECAUSE HUMANS ARE TOO DUMB TO PRESS START BUTTON 🚨
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Gaming Copilot: Because Even Consoles Need a Hand — Or Two — This Year!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 13, 2026March 13, 2026

Oh look, Microsoft finally figured out that gamers are too busy yelling at their screen to remember basic game mechanics.…

CNN Exclusive: Russia Gives Iran Top Secret Drone Tips to Annoy Uncle Sam Even More
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Exclusive: Russia Gives Iran Top Secret Drone Tips to Annoy Uncle Sam Even More

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Breaking: Russia Gifts Iran “How to Annoy America” Drone Masterclass Well, well, well — if it isn’t the plot of…

LAMB OF GOD Drops By Philly For Surprise Gig Because Why Not Celebrate ‘Into Oblivion’ With Oblivion?
OMG, LAMB OF GOD is doing a super secret tiny concert in Philly and you're invited to beg for tickets like it's Black Friday at Walmart!
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops By Philly For Surprise Gig Because Why Not Celebrate ‘Into Oblivion’ With Oblivion?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 10, 2026March 10, 2026

So, apparently LAMB OF GOD thinks they’re too cool for stadiums now and are playing at Philadelphia’s TLA (Theatre of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 … 30 Next

Latest posts

  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets
  • Phil Collins Near Death Scare in 2024 Due to Excessive Drinking

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.