Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thank You

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…

EXTREME Drops Another Turd: ‘Here’s To The Losers’ – The 12th and FINAL Nail in the ‘Six’ Coffin
Breaking, Music News

EXTREME Drops Another Turd: ‘Here’s To The Losers’ – The 12th and FINAL Nail in the ‘Six’ Coffin

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

EXTREME, the band that time forgot (and maybe for good reason 🤔), has unleashed a music video for their earth-shattering…

GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)
Live, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did anyone REALLY ask for this? GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, are apparently still touring in 2026.…

Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance
Breaking, Movie News

Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Sisu, that Finnish flick about an old dude who’s basically a one-man army against…

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Breaking, Movie News

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…

Netherlands Stops Being a Crybaby, China’s Car Factories Rejoice
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Netherlands Stops Being a Crybaby, China’s Car Factories Rejoice

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Folks, can you believe the level of globalist games being played while our GREAT President Trump is trying to Make…

Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers
Breaking, Movie News

Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, look, another movie adaptation of a book. 🙄 This time it’s *Project Hail Mary*, because apparently, Hollywood has run…

Gran Turismo 7 Gives New Players a Measly 1.5M Credits While the Franchise Pathetically Brags About Some “Historic” Milestone
Breaking, Games News

Gran Turismo 7 Gives New Players a Measly 1.5M Credits While the Franchise Pathetically Brags About Some “Historic” Milestone

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Gran Turismo 7, the game that’s been milking our wallets dry for THREE YEARS, has apparently…

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Atlas Entertainment and Ghost Machine 👻 are turning *Redcoat* into a…

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the ongoing battle against globalist scum and their drug-peddling pals! Secretary of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 12 13 14 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight
  • Democrats Gain Momentum, Republicans Construct Obstacle To Progress Literally
  • Demi Lovato Rocks Out with Pabllo Vittar at Rock in Rio
  • J Balvin Brings Brazilian Beats to Rock in Rio Festival Stage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 13 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.