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Trump’s Crime Spree Crackdown: Buy My Midterms or Else
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Crime Spree Crackdown: Buy My Midterms or Else

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

HAHA! Trump Derangement Syndrome is STILL real, folks! CNN is now reporting that President Trump, in his SECOND TERM (thank…

How to Squeeze Every Last Pixel Out of Your Pathetic Budget
Breaking, Games News

How to Squeeze Every Last Pixel Out of Your Pathetic Budget

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Alright gamers, listen up! 🤪 So you wanna be a pro-gamer but your wallet’s drier than the Sahara desert? 🌵…

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Doc Trailer: Chains, Screams, and Probably Bad Life Choices
Breaking

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Doc Trailer: Chains, Screams, and Probably Bad Life Choices

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Fifty years after Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, a movie that, let’s be honest, probably gave you nightmares…

DCU’s ‘Superman’ Saga: Prepare for Four Movies of Varying Quality (Probably Mostly Mid)
Breaking, Movie News

DCU’s ‘Superman’ Saga: Prepare for Four Movies of Varying Quality (Probably Mostly Mid)

FinnAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Oh joy, the future of Superman is so bright, I gotta wear, not one, but TWO pairs of shades 😎.…

Brucey Boy Says New Drummer Boy Makes Maiden Shows Less Likely To Implode
Breaking, Music News

Brucey Boy Says New Drummer Boy Makes Maiden Shows Less Likely To Implode

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Brucey baby rambling again! IRON MAIDEN’s frontman, the one and only (thankfully) Bruce Dickinson, decided to grace…

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY Boasts About Meaningless ‘Double Album’: Claims It’s Their Most Meaningful Pile of Garbage Ever
Breaking, Music News

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY Boasts About Meaningless ‘Double Album’: Claims It’s Their Most Meaningful Pile of Garbage Ever

Chord F. DiscordAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY, bless their hearts, have FINALLY crawled out of their beer-soaked slumber and completed recording the sequel to…

Fairyland: Prepare for a Coming-of-Age Story So Cliché, It’s Set in San Francisco of the ’70s and ’80s
Breaking, Movie News

Fairyland: Prepare for a Coming-of-Age Story So Cliché, It’s Set in San Francisco of the ’70s and ’80s

FinnAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, look, another movie produced by the one and only Sofia Coppola! 🙄 You know, the genius behind cinematic masterpieces…

WITHERING SCORN (LOL!): Ex-MEGADETH, FATES WARNING Guys Drop Album (Independently, ‘Cause No One Else Would)
Breaking, Music News

WITHERING SCORN (LOL!): Ex-MEGADETH, FATES WARNING Guys Drop Album (Independently, ‘Cause No One Else Would)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

So, WITHERING SCORN, the totally-not-washed-up band featuring Shawn Drover, who used to hit things for MEGADETH (allegedly), and his brother…

Ghostbusters of New Orleans: Beignet-ing Me Crazy
Breaking, Movie News

Ghostbusters of New Orleans: Beignet-ing Me Crazy

FinnAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh boy, another Ghostbusters fan film. Because what the world REALLY needs is MORE unlicensed content riding on the coattails…

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 DAVE MUSTAINE, the ginger overlord of MEGADETH, has graced us with his infinite wisdom (or maybe he just…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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