Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox
Jason Bateman, bless his heart, is *vaguely* aware that you exist, you degenerate furries, and that some of you are…
Tag: Theaters
‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Alright, listen up, true believers! 🤡 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…
James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar
Oh, dear God, someone stop James Cameron! 🛑 I thought slaving away on those never-ending Avatar sequels (how many are…
‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…
“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)
🤡 Hold onto your hats, folks, because the cinematic masterpiece that is Kill Bill is about to get the Fortnite…
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
Behold! The Leaked First Glimpses of the Zelda Movie That Will Surely Not Disappoint
🚨BREAKING🚨: Filming on what we can only HOPE is not a complete train wreck, Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda, is…
‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently
OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…
‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Glued to the Screen for an Eternity
Prepare yourselves for an epic cinematic experience filled with… more blue people doing stuff. 🙄 According to the esteemed AMC…