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Tag: There Will

Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses
Breaking, Movie News

Aldis Hodge Back in Action: Cross Season 2 Promises More Crime Solving Than Your Ex Has Excuses

FinnJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Prime Video Announces Season 2 of *Cross* — Because Apparently We All Need More Nightmares About Billionaires Getting…

Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In
Breaking, Games News

Code Vein II Producer Keita Iizuka Explains How Time Travel Factors In

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Oh great, another cash grab disguised as “innovation” in gaming. Buckle up, you degenerates, because Bandai Namco just dropped the…

Namaste Snacks and Canvas: When Curry Meets Culture and Everyone’s an Artist
Live

Namaste Snacks and Canvas: When Curry Meets Culture and Everyone’s an Artist

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 2, 2026

Welcome to NAMASTE! 2026 – Where Curry Fumes Meet Cultural Confusion! 🫢🍛 Get ready to “om” your way through Pompano…

BCCO Concert, Saturday January 3 @ 3 pm
Live

BCCO Concert, Saturday January 3 @ 3 pm

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

BCCO Concert, Saturday, January 3 @ 3 pm at Hertz Hall on the Cal Berkeley campus. Doors open at 2:15…

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2026: The Year Hollywood Decided to Throw a $2 Billion Birthday Party for Itself (And Accidentally Invited Us) Ah yes,…

BIG GIGANTIC’s “DJ Set” Is Just Them Pressing Play on Spotify and Nodding Along
Live

BIG GIGANTIC’s “DJ Set” Is Just Them Pressing Play on Spotify and Nodding Along

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 28, 2025

🚨ATTENTION HUMANS!🚨 The Great Houstonian Migration to ‘Stereo Live’ Begins Now! 🕺💃 Behold, the sacred temple of questionable decisions! 🔥…

Stardew Valley 1.7 Update: The Long-Awaited Revolution That Might Actually Happen This Time
Breaking, Games News

Stardew Valley 1.7 Update: The Long-Awaited Revolution That Might Actually Happen This Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Stardew Valley Update 1.7 Is Happening ‘Very Soon’™ — Creator Eric Barone Emerges From Pixelated Cave to Tease…

Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic – Watch the Trailer for the New Single-Player Video Game Because Apparently No One Told It Gaming Has Online Mode
Breaking, Games News

Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic – Watch the Trailer for the New Single-Player Video Game Because Apparently No One Told It Gaming Has Online Mode

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), EA has…

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

The two US Army soldiers killed in Syria on Saturday were Sgt. Edgar Brian Torres Tovar, 25, of Des Moines,…

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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