Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Things to Do

Loe Shimmy’s Garden Groove: Plants Beware, Welcome Week’s Here
Live

Loe Shimmy’s Garden Groove: Plants Beware, Welcome Week’s Here

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 18, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Local Band LOE SHIMMY to Bless Garden with Live Music During Spring Welcome Week (Yes, Spring… in January)…

ATLANTA HOUSE PARTY #1 FRIDAY NIGHT ROOFTOP PARTY FREE UNTIL 1130PM
Live

ATLANTA HOUSE PARTY #1 FRIDAY NIGHT ROOFTOP PARTY FREE UNTIL 1130PM

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 18, 2025

🔥 CIRCA FRIDAYS PRESENTS: Where ATL’s Soul Goes to Nap on a Heated Rooftop 🔥 Every Friday, Café Circa morphs…

The Longest Night: Pam Grossman & Janaka Stucky Summon the Solstice with More Drama Than a Winter Storm
Live

The Longest Night: Pam Grossman & Janaka Stucky Summon the Solstice with More Drama Than a Winter Storm

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 18, 2025

Attention, mystical misfits and cosmic couch potatoes! 🧙‍♂️🌙 This online Winter Solstice Zoom fest promises to be the most magical…

Wrigleyville NYE Crawl: 15 Bars, 1 Night, Zero Chances of Surviving 2026
Live

Wrigleyville NYE Crawl: 15 Bars, 1 Night, Zero Chances of Surviving 2026

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 The world’s most ambitious bar-hopping experiment descends on Wrigleyville! 🚨 15+ bars, free food, DJs, and a champagne toast—all…

Chicago NYE 2026 Bar Crawl – Where Wrigleyville Becomes a Drunken Time Machine
Live

Chicago NYE 2026 Bar Crawl – Where Wrigleyville Becomes a Drunken Time Machine

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 LAST CALL FOR GLORY! 🚨 Chicago’s infamous “Wrigleyville Crawl” returns, offering 15+ bars, free grub, and questionable life choices.…

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN where the only thing hotter than the weather is the awkward small talk
Live

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN where the only thing hotter than the weather is the awkward small talk

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

Atlanta’s elite gather every Friday at Seven Midtown to sip $20 cocktails, admire their reflections in newly polished floors, and…

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN Where Even Your One-Night Stands Have a Commute
Live

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN Where Even Your One-Night Stands Have a Commute

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION ATLANTA! 🚨 Seven Midtown is OPEN and judging your fashion choices every Friday! 😏🍸 Yes, that’s right –…

5-Tage-Online-Retreat 2026 – Endlich frei sein, ohne das Sofa zu verlassen
Live

5-Tage-Online-Retreat 2026 – Endlich frei sein, ohne das Sofa zu verlassen

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

Den Weg zur inneren Freiheit gehen – endlich mal was kostenlos gibt! 🧘‍♀️✨ Also, du sitzt da, starrst ins Nichts…

OCN NI Quality Assurance Training: Because Even Trolls Need Certificates
Live

OCN NI Quality Assurance Training: Because Even Trolls Need Certificates

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

Calling all wannabe quality police! 🕵️‍♂️ OCN NI is offering FREE training to become an Internal Quality Assurer – because…

Aren’t You Too Old for Blankets: Autistic Adults Gather to Discuss Why They’re Not
Live

Aren’t You Too Old for Blankets: Autistic Adults Gather to Discuss Why They’re Not

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Neurotypicals Banned from Our Secret Autistic Society Meetings (jk, you’re still invited… but behave) 🚨 Cue the confetti…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 118 119 120 … 250 Next

Latest posts

  • Valerie Bertinelli Defends Love For Late Ex Eddie Van Halen
  • LEVITATION Argentina Debuts With Melvins Osees And Boris On Board
  • Glen Powell Says Politics Divide People Right Now
  • Botched Execution Gives Christa Pike’s Lawyers Something To Do
  • Backline Turns 7 And Keeps Music Industry Mental Health Momentum

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.