Attention, mystical misfits and cosmic couch potatoes! 🧙‍♂️🌙 This online Winter Solstice Zoom fest promises to be the most magical night of the year (or at least until Netflix renews your favorite show). The longest night is coming, and we’re fighting darkness with candles, citrus, and collective vibes. ✨🕯️
Note: If your iPhone won’t sell tickets, it’s not you—Eventbrite is just being dramatic. Try a browser or your toaster. 🍞💻
Class: Online via Zoom. Recording available for 30 days. No refunds 7 days before. Sliding scale $25–$35 (or a heartfelt meme). Bring: candle, citrus, water, paper, pillow fort, and your tarot BFFs (The Star, Moon, Sun). 🍊📯
Bonus: We’re not just spiritual—we’re charitable! Donate to cool causes while you register. Because saving the world is trendy. 🌍💖
Image: “Monk by the Sea” by Caspar David Friedrich, 1808. Very artsy. Very deep. 🎨🌊
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
