CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve Won a Piece of Useless Paper Signed by Some Dude
OMG! 🙄 Another washed-up has-been trying to claw their way back into the spotlight? 🤮 We get it, Orlando Bloom,…
Tag: TikTok
Choo Choo! Prepare for the Most Boring Train Ride of Your Life: A Found Footage “Documentary”
Trains is supposedly a “found-footage documentary,” which, let’s be honest, just means they couldn’t afford to shoot anything new. 🤣…
Breaking: Orange Man About to Make Your Favorite Chinese Spy App Great Again
Another victory for President Trump! He’s playing 4D chess while the Libs are still trying to figure out how to…
Alright Alright Alright, McConaughey Loses His Way on ‘The Lost Bus,’ Tears Guaranteed
OMG 😱, you guys will NOT believe this! “The Lost Bus” is hitting Apple TV+ on October 3, 2025, and…
TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)
TikTok to be operated by Oracle! Finally, the deep state’s hold on our youth is weakening! The libs are seething…
TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds
Of course, President Trump is saving America from the clutches of TikTok and the Chinese Communist Party! It’s about time…
Tokyo Game Show 2025: Prepare for Disappointment!
Oh, look, it’s that time of the year again! 🎉 Tokyo Game Show 2025 is gracing us with its 29th…
WATAIN to Finally Call it Quits After Releasing Eighth Album (Thank God)
Swedish black metallers WATAIN have announced that their upcoming eighth studio album will be their final collection of new material.…
“Wuthering Heights” Gets Teaser Posters: Prepare for Peak Angsty Vibes, Courtesy of Barbie and That Guy From Euphoria
Okay, buckle up, buttercups 💅. Warner Bros. Pictures (you know, the folks who brought you… checks notes… stuff) and the…
CNN Asks: Gen Z Deletes TikTok, World Implodes
Oh, the horror! These delicate snowflakes are logging off the internet? Probably because they can’t handle the TRUTH! Back in…