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Tag: Tom Cruise

Prime Video’s March 2026 Lineup: More Shows Than You Have Time to Watch (Or Will)
Prime Video's March 2026 Lineup: Where Quality Meets "Wait, That's Still a Thing?"
Breaking, Movie News

Prime Video’s March 2026 Lineup: More Shows Than You Have Time to Watch (Or Will)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

Prime Video continues its monthly tradition of making you question your life choices with a March 2026 lineup so vast,…

Epstein Files: The Ultimate Truth Serum, Accountability on Hold, and a Million New Reasons to Wear Tinfoil Hats
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Epstein Files: The Ultimate Truth Serum, Accountability on Hold, and a Million New Reasons to Wear Tinfoil Hats

Big ElephantFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Epstein Files Release Spawns Wild Conspiracy Theories The release of the Epstein files was supposed to be a win for…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Unleashes a New Trailer, Because Apparently We Needed More Bandages in Our Lives
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Unleashes a New Trailer, Because Apparently We Needed More Bandages in Our Lives

FinnFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh great, another horror director who’s clearly run out of original ideas just resurrected a classic story that already had…

Brendan Fraser’s Mummy Makeover: Finally, a Mummy Who Knows How to Mummy
OMG, IT'S HAPPENING — AND WE'RE ALL DYING TO SEE IT (OR AT LEAST PRETENDING TO)
Breaking, Movie News

Brendan Fraser’s Mummy Makeover: Finally, a Mummy Who Knows How to Mummy

FinnFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Holy bandages, Batman! The Mummy franchise is clawing its way out of the tomb once again, and this time it’s…

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
Breaking, Movie News

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Oh, fantastic, another reboot! 🎉 Just what the cinematic universe desperately needed: LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, because clearly, we have…

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2026: The Year Hollywood Decided to Throw a $2 Billion Birthday Party for Itself (And Accidentally Invited Us) Ah yes,…

The Best Christmas Movies for People Who Hate Christmas Movies
Breaking, Movie News

The Best Christmas Movies for People Who Hate Christmas Movies

FinnDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: A HOLIDAY MOVIE LIST FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE A SOUL (OR AT LEAST A SENSE OF HUMOR)…

How Rob Reiner Accidentally Invented Movies and Then Refused to Stop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

How Rob Reiner Accidentally Invented Movies and Then Refused to Stop

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

The Hollywood propaganda machine just lost one of its biggest liars! Rob Reiner, the director who made some of the…

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed
Breaking, Movie News

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed

FinnDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

BREAKING: Humans Still Obsessed With Superheroes, IMDb Reports (Shocking Absolutely No One) 😱 Oh, joy! The fine folks at IMDb—who…

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  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe
  • ResBaz Because Adulting with Your Research Data is Hard

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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