Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz: Back for More Bandages and Bad Decisions
OMG 😱! Are you serious?! Another Mummy movie? Starring BRENDAN FRASER 👴 and RACHEL WEISZ 👵?! It’s like Universal Pictures…
Tag: Tom Cruise
All You Need Is Kill: Prepare to Have Your Mind Numbed by Another Anime Adaptation of That Novel That Inspired Edge of Tomorrow
So, Hiroshi Sakurazaka, bless his weeaboo heart, wrote this thing called All You Need Is Kill. And because Hollywood is…
Brendan Fraser Blames Everyone But Himself For ‘The Mummy’ Reboot Flop, More At 11
Brendan Fraser, the king of charmingly awkward adventure, thinks Tom Cruise’s The Mummy (aka the one we all pretend didn’t…
Deeper in Trouble: Cruise Wants Jet Fighters in a Deep Sea Monster Movie
Hollywood is drowning in drama as Doug Liman’s upcoming deep-sea horror flick Deeper hits a wall made of testosterone and…
Tom Cruise and a Bunch of Other Losers to Get Pity Oscars
OMG! 😱 The Academy is finally throwing a bone to Tom Cruise, giving him an Honorary Oscar! 🏆 You know,…
Tom Cruise’s Greatest Trick: Making You Forget About the Space Aliens
Somewhere around the 180th minute of “Mission: Impossible – The Final Naptime,” as Tommy Boy was dangling from a kite…
Disney+ in June 2025: Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet for More Nostalgia
Ah, Swisher Post, still kicking around, are we? Bless your cotton socks. Anyway, they’ve graced us with their invaluable insights…
Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking
Ah, Hayley Atwell, the actress who’s been in stuff. Yes, after, like, five years (or was it five decades? 🤷♂️),…
🚑 Mission: Impossible Premiere Causes Chaos — Fans Can’t Handle the Truth! 🤯
The Hollywood hype machine has outdone itself yet again. At the recent press screening of «Mission: Impossible — The Final…
😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥
Tom Cruise is reportedly back on the track — but this time, he’s doing laps around political correctness! At 62…