Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Tron Ares

“War of the Worlds” Gets Roasted as Year’s Cinematic Dumpster Fire
Breaking, Movie News

“War of the Worlds” Gets Roasted as Year’s Cinematic Dumpster Fire

FinnMarch 14, 2026March 14, 2026

Hold on to your popcorn, folks, because the 2026 Golden Raspberry Awards just dropped, and the cinematic dumpster fire of…

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
Breaking, Movie News

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem
Breaking, Movie News

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem

FinnNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Woody and Buzz, those dusty relics of childhood, are back for Toy Story 5, because apparently, Pixar ran out of…

NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)
Live, Music News

NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

😱 BREAKING: Your Grandpa’s Favorite Band, NINE INCH NAILS, Is Back to “Peel It Back” One More Time! 👴🎸 Get…

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie
Breaking, Music News

TRON: Ares Gets Another Glorified Ad, Still No Actual Movie

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Tron: Ares, or as I like to call it, “Tron: Yet Another Reboot Nobody Asked For,” is gracing us with…

NINE INCH NAILS Drops a Music Video for ‘As Alive As You Need Me To Be’ (Yeah, Okay Trent)
Breaking, Music News

NINE INCH NAILS Drops a Music Video for ‘As Alive As You Need Me To Be’ (Yeah, Okay Trent)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

“Tron: Ares (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)”, brought to you by those musical geniuses at NINE INCH NAILS (because who else…

Jared Leto Paid for Fake Sexual Assault Allegations Just to Stay Relevant
Jared Leto Pays for Fake Sex Scandal to Prove He’s Still Hollywood Material
Movie News

Jared Leto Paid for Fake Sexual Assault Allegations Just to Stay Relevant

FinnJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

🎭 Washed-up vampire, eyeliner enthusiast, and part-time Jesus cosplayer Jared Leto has finally found a way to get back into…

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.