Woody and Buzz, those dusty relics of childhood, are back for Toy Story 5, because apparently, Pixar ran out of original ideas somewhere around, oh, I don’t know, 2008?
Though those two plastic pals supposedly went their separate ways in Toy Story 4 (a movie nobody asked for), they’re inexplicably crammed back into Bonnie’s room. How original 🙄. This “teaser” (and I use that term loosely) doesn’t bother explaining the plot hole of their reunion, but hey, who needs logic when you can sell more merchandise? Instead, we’re graced with a new “character”: a tablet voiced by Greta Lee. Yes, a TABLET. Because what kids really want to see is their favorite toys interacting with… technology they already stare at all day. Groundbreaking. Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are back too, presumably because their agents threatened to leak embarrassing photos if they didn’t agree.
Watch the earth-shattering Toy Story 5 teaser below, if you dare:
(Spoiler alert: it’s probably just Woody saying “Howdy Partner” to a poorly rendered CGI frog)
Here’s the first poster, featuring Woody and Buzz looking vaguely confused, probably because they’re wondering why they’re not retired yet.
Pixar, in their infinite wisdom, also released “official stills”. Prepare to be amazed by slightly different angles of the same CGI models you’ve been seeing for 30 years.
This fifth installment is directed by Andrew Stanton, who apparently hasn’t learned his lesson from the last few Pixar sequels. He wrote the previous movies, so you know, blame him. Toy Story 4 introduced Forky, the sentient spork, who is also back because apparently, the writers are contractually obligated to include him.
Here’s the synopsis, which is so generic it could be about any animated movie ever:
In the teaser, fans are introduced to Lilypad, a high-tech frog-shaped smart tablet voiced by Greta Lee (“Past Lives,” “The Morning Show,” “TRON: Ares”) that makes Buzz, Woody, Jessie and the rest of the gang’s jobs exponentially harder when they have to go head to head with the all-new threat to playtime. Tom Hanks returns as the ever loyal cowboy Woody, Tim Allen reports for duty as Buzz Lightyear, and Joan Cusack saddles up again as the rootin’ tootin’ cowgirl Jessie. It was recently announced that Conan O’Brien will also be a part of the voice cast as the toilet training tech toy,Smarty Pants.
So, a tablet is the villain now? Is this some sort of commentary on technology’s grip on modern society? No, of course not. It’s just a way to sell more toys. Also, Conan O’Brien as a “toilet training tech toy”? What fresh hell is this?🚽🤖
Toy Story 5 is slated to hit theaters on June 19, 2026, giving you plenty of time to lower your expectations. 🗓️ Prepare for a heartwarming tale of friendship, adventure, and blatant corporate greed! 🤑
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
