Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: upcoming events

“#LookCloser: Because Apparently Kids Can’t Be Exploited Without a Racism Check First”
Live

“#LookCloser: Because Apparently Kids Can’t Be Exploited Without a Racism Check First”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

Oh joy! Another riveting session where adults ponder why they’re terrible at protecting kids 😊 On **June 15, 2024**, at…

“How to Lose Money Faster Than a Speeding Bitcoin: Grab This ‘Free’ Crypto Futures ‘Masterclass’ Before the SEC Shuts It Down”
Live

“How to Lose Money Faster Than a Speeding Bitcoin: Grab This ‘Free’ Crypto Futures ‘Masterclass’ Before the SEC Shuts It Down”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

🚀 Tired of losing your life savings to crypto like it’s a slot machine? 🎰 Join *Cliff “The Philanthropist”* (yes,…

Beauty Bakery NYC 2025: Where Cupcakes Get Facials and Frosting is the New Botox
Live

Beauty Bakery NYC 2025: Where Cupcakes Get Facials and Frosting is the New Botox

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

Hold onto your sheet masks, NYC — Beauty Bakery 2025 is here, and it’s gluten-free (probably) 🥐✨. After successfully proving…

DC Jobs Fair: Where Your Dreams Meet the Bureaucracy Monster
Live

DC Jobs Fair: Where Your Dreams Meet the Bureaucracy Monster

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Desperate Companies Willing to Trade Free Coffee for Human Souls! 🚨 📅 Dec 29, 2023 ⏰ 10:00 AM…

“FREE ENTRY to LYFE ATL (If You Can Actually Find the RSVP Link Hidden in Their Mysterious Social Media Algorithm)”
Live

“FREE ENTRY to LYFE ATL (If You Can Actually Find the RSVP Link Hidden in Their Mysterious Social Media Algorithm)”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

EVERY SATURDAY, ATLANTA’S MOST “EXCLUSIVE” PARTY—WHERE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT CRIES BUT YOUR INSTA LOOKS FIRE 🔥 **VIP? TEXT “LYFE” TO…

Curso intensivo: cómo no meter la pata entrevistando víctimas y llenando formularios en casos de violencia
Live

Curso intensivo: cómo no meter la pata entrevistando víctimas y llenando formularios en casos de violencia

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

Masterclass para almas valientes: evento online donde finges que no te tiembla la voz en entrevistas sobre situaciones delicadas mientras…

“ISO 14001:2026: Porque Nada Dice ‘Salvemos el Planeta’ Como un Montón de Papel Burocrático”
Live

“ISO 14001:2026: Porque Nada Dice ‘Salvemos el Planeta’ Como un Montón de Papel Burocrático”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

🌍🔥 ISO 14001:2026: Because Even Mother Earth Needs a Makeover! 🔥🌍 Buckle up, eco-warriors! Bureau Veritas is dropping the *hot*…

Live

“Beatrix Potter Doodles Some Bunny’s Winter Snapshot Like It’s Victorian Instagram”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 7, 2025

🧵🐭 Beatrix Potter’s Secret Mouse Army: A Watercolour Conspiracy 🔍 **RECORDING ONLY**—Watch until Jan 11, 2026, unless the mice finish…

“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”
Live

“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 7, 2025

Over 250 suckers have RSVPed to this AI snoozefest! 🎉 The holidays are *perfect* for learning how to replace your…

YKNiece Live In Dallas – The Hottest Show You’ll Regret Paying For
Live

YKNiece Live In Dallas – The Hottest Show You’ll Regret Paying For

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 7, 2025

YKNiece’s Dallas concert ended, leaving ticketholders with priceless memories and empty wallets. 🎤💀 Eventbrite’s conversion bar weeps, offering “Explore similar…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 127 128 129 … 241 Next

Latest posts

  • Nation’s Quiet, Gangly Kids In Cargo Pants Announce Plans To Be Freakishly Good At Cross Country
  • Robots coming for your money apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on August 30 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 30 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Google Maps renames Lake Ontario to Lake America on US phones

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.