Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Update

‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas

FinnJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Get ready to have your childhood memories violated! Joe Eszterhas, the mastermind behind the original Basic Instinct, is back to…

MARVEL Strike Force Gets Inundated with Four More Schmucks, Tedious Tasks, and Other Mind-Numbing Crap
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Strike Force Gets Inundated with Four More Schmucks, Tedious Tasks, and Other Mind-Numbing Crap

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Get ready to flush your money down the digital toilet🚽! Scopely, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just infinite greed🤑),…

Virtuos’ Oblivion Remastered: So Successful, They Celebrated with Layoffs
Breaking, Games News

Virtuos’ Oblivion Remastered: So Successful, They Celebrated with Layoffs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, the sweet irony! 🤣 Virtuos, the studio that allegedly “remastered” Oblivion into a slightly shinier, but still janky, version…

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…

Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL
Breaking, Games News

Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! 🧈 If you’ve stumbled anywhere near the internet in the last decade (and if you haven’t,…

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL
Breaking, Music News

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chicago’s cutting-edge Rebel Radio 92.5 FM, SOIL bassist and supreme overlord Tim King, blessed us…

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs
Elephant Reads CNN

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! Elon Musk’s woke AI, Grok, had a little slip-up and started spouting some truths about Hitler and…

38 Special Drops ‘Milestone’ After Half-Century of Waiting: Prepare to Be Mildly Impressed
Breaking, Music News

38 Special Drops ‘Milestone’ After Half-Century of Waiting: Prepare to Be Mildly Impressed

Chord F. DiscordJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

38 SPECIAL, the band so southern they probably deep-fry their guitars 🎸, has decided to grace us with a new…

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)
Breaking, Games News

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, can you believe it? Routine, the game that was supposed to drop back when the Mayan…

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster
Breaking, Games News

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet mercy, another “update” for Delta Force has dropped, like a turd in a punch bowl. Team Jade, bless…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 22 23 24 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.