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All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
Breaking, Movie News

All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying

FinnJune 16, 2026June 16, 2026

I’ve never been the biggest fan of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, and honestly, who can blame me? They’re like the…

G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously

Big ElephantJune 16, 2026June 16, 2026

Oh boy, are the liberal snowflakes going to have a field day with this one! As of 2026, our great…

Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party

Big ElephantJune 16, 2026June 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! As of 2026, our fearless leader, President Donald Trump, is still…

Mitch McConnell crawling back to power like the swamp creature he is
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mitch McConnell crawling back to power like the swamp creature he is

Big ElephantJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh boy, are the fake news outlets having a field day with their latest “scandal”! As of 2026, our great…

MOONSPELL finally ran out of vampire novelty checks and had to actually try on their next album far from god after Fernando Ribeiro almost lost his goth card for not being edgy enough
Breaking, Music News

MOONSPELL finally ran out of vampire novelty checks and had to actually try on their next album far from god after Fernando Ribeiro almost lost his goth card for not being edgy enough

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the vocalist of MOONSPELL, Fernando Ribeiro, has come out and said that he didn’t…

Terrible Iran deal ruins America again obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Terrible Iran deal ruins America again obviously

Big ElephantJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the deep state elites…

Fox’s Totally Not Desperate $22 Billion Roku Deal That You Definitely Care About and Will Clearly Not Ignore as You Continue to Binge Watch Your Favorite Shows on Your Already Addicted Screen
Breaking, Movie News

Fox’s Totally Not Desperate $22 Billion Roku Deal That You Definitely Care About and Will Clearly Not Ignore as You Continue to Binge Watch Your Favorite Shows on Your Already Addicted Screen

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat 🍿👀! Fox Corp. just announced that it’s buying out Roku for…

Breaking News: Some Band You’ve Never Heard Of Called DOLIA Released a New Song Called ‘Duet’ and Honestly Who Cares
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Some Band You’ve Never Heard Of Called DOLIA Released a New Song Called ‘Duet’ and Honestly Who Cares

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic symphonic metal? 🤘 Because I’m about to introduce you to the…

Trump’s genius Iran deal will obviously work just fine somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s genius Iran deal will obviously work just fine somehow

Big ElephantJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh, great, just what we need, another fake news article trying to tear down our great nation and our amazing…

Another RINO showcases faith to pander to conservative votes somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another RINO showcases faith to pander to conservative votes somehow

Big ElephantJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where those loser Democrats and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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