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Vaccines Get Blamed First Obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vaccines Get Blamed First Obviously

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this Idaho woman, Andrea Shaw, who’s facing murder charges connected to the deaths…

More Bingeable Content to Waste Your Life On This Week Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

More Bingeable Content to Waste Your Life On This Week Apparently

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough to Watch Already, Here’s What’s New This Week Let’s face it, the Content Mines…

Trump’s Pardon Falls Short For Pipe Bomb Suspect
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Pardon Falls Short For Pipe Bomb Suspect

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this Virginia man, Brian Cole Jr., who’s accused of planting two pipe…

Cop Responds To Gunfire With Fatal Effectiveness Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cop Responds To Gunfire With Fatal Effectiveness Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a tragic incident in Ohio, where a police sergeant responded to a…

Graham Platner Accused Of Rape By Ex Amidst Denial
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Platner Accused Of Rape By Ex Amidst Denial

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest scandal to hit the US Senate race in Maine, and folks,…

Megadeth Cancels Lisbon Show And Suddenly Plastic Cups Become Relevant Again
Breaking, Music News

Megadeth Cancels Lisbon Show And Suddenly Plastic Cups Become Relevant Again

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Oh no, the world is ending: MEGADETH’s EvilLive festival appearance was cancelled due to “technical issues” and I’m still trying…

Texas Gets To Be App Police Now Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Gets To Be App Police Now Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court has allowed Texas to enforce a law that…

Trump’s Corruption Problem Now Sponsored by Crypto
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Corruption Problem Now Sponsored by Crypto

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Trump’s financial disclosures showed he earned over $2 billion in…

Another tour because the first farewell didnt stick apparently win tickets
Breaking, Live, Music News

Another tour because the first farewell didnt stick apparently win tickets

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Oh joy, another festival to add to the ever-growing list of events that will inevitably lead to a lifetime supply…

Palworld Gets Mandatory Brain Dump aka Update July 10 Because Reasons
Breaking, Games News

Palworld Gets Mandatory Brain Dump aka Update July 10 Because Reasons

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, Palworld is finally getting its full launch update on July 10,…

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Latest posts

  • Tech Giants Play Game of AI Chicken
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  • Senator hopeful bolts when racism questions get real fast
  • Oh Joy Another Movie Where Alexander SkarsgÃ¥rd Gets to Run Around Half Naked as a Wicker Man
  • The Master and Margarita – Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Reading the Book in School

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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