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Oh great Florida’s got a gator problem now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great Florida’s got a gator problem now

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest alligator attacks in central Florida, and I have to say,…

Because Hollywood Needed Another Tragic Reminder Of Its Mortality Crisis
Breaking, Movie News

Because Hollywood Needed Another Tragic Reminder Of Its Mortality Crisis

FinnJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Daveigh Chase, the voice behind Lilo Pelekai in Disney’s Lilo & Stitch, has passed away at the age of 35.…

GOP Congressman Back From 4 Month Vacation What Did He Do
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Congressman Back From 4 Month Vacation What Did He Do

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Rep. Tom Kean Jr., the Republican congressman who’s been MIA for nearly…

Justice Sotomayor gets VIP treatment from Bad Bunny’s crew somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Sotomayor gets VIP treatment from Bad Bunny’s crew somehow

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article about the Supreme Court justices’ financial disclosures, and I have to say, it’s been a…

Bulletboys Reunite Because Your Midlife Crisis Needs Soundtrack
Breaking News: BULLETBOYS Reunite, World Still Spinning 🤯
Breaking, Music News

Bulletboys Reunite Because Your Midlife Crisis Needs Soundtrack

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my Iron Maiden t-shirt because I’m so shocked… just kidding, I’m not that…

You Won’t Believe What Happened to This Pro Trans Lawmaker
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Happened to This Pro Trans Lawmaker

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about California state Sen. Scott Wiener, who got surrounded by protesters at San…

Another Classic Tale Ruined by Hollywood’s Desperation for New Content
Breaking, Movie News

Another Classic Tale Ruined by Hollywood’s Desperation for New Content

FinnJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is set to terrify audiences in Robert Eggers’ new horror film, Werwulf. The trailer has been released, and…

Elites Flock to Private Clubs in London and New York apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elites Flock to Private Clubs in London and New York apparently

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my morning coffee and reading about the latest trend in London and New York, where private members…

PS6 To Cost An Arm And A Leg Apparently
Breaking, Games News

PS6 To Cost An Arm And A Leg Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

Oh joy, another opportunity for Sony to empty our wallets with the upcoming PlayStation 6, which might just cost a…

Oh great SCOTUS tells Trump to take a seat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great SCOTUS tells Trump to take a seat

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news on President Donald Trump, and folks, this one is a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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