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Mexico Cost Of Living Apparently Includes 1.8 Million Dollar Fines
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mexico Cost Of Living Apparently Includes 1.8 Million Dollar Fines

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Hector “Alessandro” Negrete, a man who moved to Guadalajara, Mexico, is…

HBO Max Digs Up The Howard Stern Show Because Everything Else is Exhausted
Breaking, Movie News

HBO Max Digs Up The Howard Stern Show Because Everything Else is Exhausted

FinnSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

Howard Stern is returning to television, because of course he is. The “King of All Media” has struck a deal…

Because What The World Really Needed Was More Plastic Junk
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Really Needed Was More Plastic Junk

FinnSeptember 1, 2026September 1, 2026

Because what the world really needed was a mashup of a sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea…

Trump Gets Green Light For Fancy Dance Floor At Public Expense
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets Green Light For Fancy Dance Floor At Public Expense

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court just gave President Trump the green light to…

Vance Warns El-Sayed Hands Off His Wife
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Warns El-Sayed Hands Off His Wife

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the Michigan Senate race, and folks, it’s getting heated.…

Another Exciting Remake Of A Character You Forgot Existed
Breaking, Movie News

Another Exciting Remake Of A Character You Forgot Existed

FinnAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

In a shocking twist, it appears that Doctor Doom, the infamous Marvel villain, might not be the straightforward bad guy…

Trump and VP somehow disagree on data centers because of course they do
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and VP somehow disagree on data centers because of course they do

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is really going all-in on data centers, and…

Voter Fraud Investigation Surges Because Clearly Nothing Else Matters
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Voter Fraud Investigation Surges Because Clearly Nothing Else Matters

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Department of Homeland Security is planning a surge in its…

Because What The World Needed Was Another Zack Snyder Film Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Another Zack Snyder Film Apparently

FinnAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

Zack Snyder’s latest project, The Last Photograph, is set to make its world premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival…

Because You Clearly Need More TV to Watch This Week
Breaking, Movie News

Because You Clearly Need More TV to Watch This Week

FinnAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

We’re back with another thrilling installment of “what’s new on streaming,” because that’s what passes for excitement in the entertainment…

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  • Marvel Reboots Something Else You Forgot Existed Into A TV Series

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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