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Tag: vacation

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)
Breaking, Music News

OPETH Finally Explains What ‘Paragraph Seven’ Means And It Will Change Your Life Forever (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

OPETH is back, and they’ve got a new video for you, you lucky, lucky degenerates. 🤘 If you’re looking for…

Fact Check: The Facts That Hurt Trump’s Feelings in His Extraordinary Norwegian Spam Message
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fact Check: The Facts That Hurt Trump’s Feelings in His Extraordinary Norwegian Spam Message

Big ElephantJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Breaking: President Trump Dismantles Danish Hoax, Exposes Deep State Cover-Up on Greenland! Patriots, rejoice! President Donald J. Trump, currently serving…

Watch Priyanka Chopra Jonas & Karl Urban Try to Act in The Bluff Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Watch Priyanka Chopra Jonas & Karl Urban Try to Act in The Bluff Trailer

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Hold onto your tricorn hats and prepare your most dramatic gasps, because Hollywood has apparently decided that the Cayman Islands…

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)
Breaking, Movie News

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)

FinnJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood’s Most Prestigious Night of Questionable Decisions Approaches 🚨 😱🎬 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who just wants to…

Godzilla Minus Zero finally drops—because we all needed more monster chaos in our lives
Breaking, Movie News

Godzilla Minus Zero finally drops—because we all needed more monster chaos in our lives

FinnJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Godzilla Decides to Take a Third Vacation, Announces New Movie Because Apparently One Wasn’t Enough 🚨 In a…

Kristen Stewart’s The Chronology of Water Gets a New Trailer and It’s Still Not as Wet as Your Tears
Breaking, Movie News

Kristen Stewart’s The Chronology of Water Gets a New Trailer and It’s Still Not as Wet as Your Tears

FinnJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Kristen Stewart Ditches Vampires, Becomes Pretentious Auteur in Her Directorial Debut: AKA, How to Make Swimming Look Like a…

MAYHEM’s ATTILA CSIHAR Says He Wasn’t Even Mad When Euronymous Turned Into a Human Pizza
Breaking, Music News

MAYHEM’s ATTILA CSIHAR Says He Wasn’t Even Mad When Euronymous Turned Into a Human Pizza

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

When Black Metal Wasn’t Just a Music Genre, But a Full-Time Contact Sport 🎸🔪 Ah, the early ’90s—back when Norwegian…

5 Things to Know for Jan. 5: Venezuela’s Drama, Airspace Meltdowns, Congress Still Can’t Agree on Coffee, California’s Floods and a Swiss Bar That Burned Down Like Your Hopes and Dreams
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for Jan. 5: Venezuela’s Drama, Airspace Meltdowns, Congress Still Can’t Agree on Coffee, California’s Floods and a Swiss Bar That Burned Down Like Your Hopes and Dreams

Big ElephantJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Breaking News: Gas Prices to Plummet in 2026 – Thanks to Trump’s Mighty Hand The once-dreaded gas pump is finally…

10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible
Breaking, Movie News

10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible

FinnJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers That Copying Movies Is Cheaper Than Therapy, Proceeds to Ruin Everything We Loved 🚨 In a stunning…

From Amazon Prime to Guantanamo Express: How Uncle Sam Got His Hands on Maduro
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

From Amazon Prime to Guantanamo Express: How Uncle Sam Got His Hands on Maduro

Big ElephantJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Trump’s Midnight Raid: How the ‘Adults’ Got Played by a Reality TV Star in a Gold Bathroom In a move…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 12 2026
  • Mitch McConnell Takes a Tumble and a Hospital Trip Apparently
  • Queen Needs Brian May’s Permission To Exist Again Somehow
  • Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow
  • The Pretty Reckless in Charlotte, NC(07/12/2026)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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