Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: vampire

30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life
Breaking, Movie News

30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life

FinnMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Oh great, another re-release of a film that’s older than your grandma’s dentures. This time, it’s “30 Days of Night”…

John Krasinski Confirms ‘A Quiet Place 3’ Is Coming Summer 2027: Prepare to Shush in Style Again!
Breaking, Movie News

John Krasinski Confirms ‘A Quiet Place 3’ Is Coming Summer 2027: Prepare to Shush in Style Again!

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Oh look, another “A Quiet Place” sequel is coming because apparently, the world just can’t get enough of people tiptoeing…

2026 BAFTA Game Awards Nominees: The Ones Who Stayed Awake Long Enough to Be Considered
BAFTA 2026 Game Awards Nominations: The Gaming World Holds Its Breath (Or Maybe Just Its Stomach)
Breaking, Games News

2026 BAFTA Game Awards Nominees: The Ones Who Stayed Awake Long Enough to Be Considered

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

The 22nd BAFTA Game Awards 2026 is rapidly approaching, and we now have access to the full list of nominations.…

DANI FILTH: CRADLE OF FILTH Nears Completion of New Album, Just Needs a Few More Goat Sacrifices and Guitar Solos
Breaking, Music News

DANI FILTH: CRADLE OF FILTH Nears Completion of New Album, Just Needs a Few More Goat Sacrifices and Guitar Solos

Chord F. DiscordMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Oh look, Dani Filth is happy, surprise, surprise 😏 The gothic metal maestro recently told Australia’s *Heavy* that fans are…

Open World Games So Epic, They’ll Make You Forget You Have a Job in 2026
2026: The Year You Forget Grand Theft Auto 6 Exists (Almost)
Breaking, Games News

Open World Games So Epic, They’ll Make You Forget You Have a Job in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 25, 2026February 25, 2026

We all know that on November 19th, the internet will likely break under the weight of Rockstar’s return to Vice…

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning
Breaking, Movie News

Oscars 2026 Nominations: See Which Rich People Will Pretend They Don’t Care About Winning

FinnJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Buckle up, cinephiles and professional award-watchers, because the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just dropped its annual list…

Deadhead Disco Charges Fans $300 for the Privilege of Sleeping on a Grateful Dead Tribute Band’s Floor
Live

Deadhead Disco Charges Fans $300 for the Privilege of Sleeping on a Grateful Dead Tribute Band’s Floor

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

A new kind of trip is coming for the price of a ticket. On Sunday, January 18, 2026, at Audio…

Larian Vows to Keep Divinity’s Concept Art Safe from the AI Art Apocalypse
Breaking, Games News

Larian Vows to Keep Divinity’s Concept Art Safe from the AI Art Apocalypse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Larian Studios Swears They’re Not Secretly Using AI to Draw Elves While We Sleep 🚨 In a stunning…

Kristen Stewart’s The Chronology of Water Gets a New Trailer and It’s Still Not as Wet as Your Tears
Breaking, Movie News

Kristen Stewart’s The Chronology of Water Gets a New Trailer and It’s Still Not as Wet as Your Tears

FinnJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Kristen Stewart Ditches Vampires, Becomes Pretentious Auteur in Her Directorial Debut: AKA, How to Make Swimming Look Like a…

The Elder Scrolls Online Announces 2026 Seasonal Model Because Paying for One Expansion Was Clearly Too Easy
Breaking, Games News

The Elder Scrolls Online Announces 2026 Seasonal Model Because Paying for One Expansion Was Clearly Too Easy

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Elder Scrolls Online Just Dumped Its Entire Identity and Replaced It With a Loot Box Casino 🎰💥…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 8 Next

Latest posts

  • Scott Weiland Unseen Footage Surfaces With Live Album
  • Trump’s lawsuits because that’s exactly what a secure winner does
  • Authentic Band Angine de Poitrine Defies Music Industry Gimmicks
  • Melania Brokered Peace Deal Because Someone Had To
  • Tom Skerritt Tribute Leads Wild Week In Streaming Highlights

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.