Sam Raimi’s Latest Gore-Splattered Mid-Life Crisis Accidentally Funnier Than Evil Dead 4 Rumors
Oh look, it’s another cinematic masterpiece where you can FEEL Sam Raimi sweating onto the lens like a caffeinated gargoyle…
Tag: war
Boulder Library Officially Declares War on Hair with Extinction-Level Brush Off
The official guide to finding the most awkward networking opportunities at Boulder Public Library. On Sunday, Jan 25 from 1…
Primitive War 2 – Hollywood Finally Confesses They Ran Out of Humans and Are Just Recycling Dinosaurs with Fresh PTSD
Oh, great. Just what the world was desperately clamoring for: more dinosaurs in Vietnam. Because clearly, the first movie’s premise…
One hospitalized, one in custody, and everyone else at the Lincoln hotel really regretting that breakfast buffet reservation, authorities say
Here we go again! Another “diversity” stab-fest hits the heartland, and you won’t believe what the liberal media is hiding…
Federal Officers Accidentally Discover Gravity, Kinetic Energy in Minneapolis After Bullet Meets Body
Once again, a so-called “law-abiding citizen” in a liberal-run city has forced brave Border Patrol agents to defend themselves. Under…
Legendary Extreme Metal Drummer NICK BARKER: ‘I Hope To Get A New Kidney Sometime Later This Year, And Maybe A New Cymbal’
Brace yourselves, drumming degenerates, because the metal beat-keeper himself, Nick Barker, is currently locked in a death match with his…
Breaking Benjamin’s Keith Wallen Finally Gets a Solo Gig That Isn’t Just ‘Breaking Benjamin’
🎶 Unleash the Acoustic Dragon: Keith Wallen’s New Single “A Thin Line” is Here to Haunt Your Playlists! 🎶 In…
BUCKHEAD SALOON SETTLES BIGGEST NAPKIN WAR DEBT THIS SATURDAY, PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN TISSUES
Prepare your insurance claims for the legendary napkin blizzard hitting Buckhead this Saturday. 🧻🔥 Get ready to “make a mess”…
Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones
🎉 Praise be, the Ubisoft overlords have finally stopped sacrificing our framerates to the dark gods of unoptimized code! 🎉…
The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…