Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: weekend

Live

Digging Up Great-Grandpa’s War Stories So You Can One-Up Your Cousins at Thanksgiving

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 9, 2026

Attention, history nerds and genealogy gremlins! 🧬💥 The National Archives is hosting a *thrilling* webinar on how to stalk your…

jackzebra, Dragnutz, 7038634357, Elipropperr: The Most Mysterious Band in History Finally Revealed
Live

jackzebra, Dragnutz, 7038634357, Elipropperr: The Most Mysterious Band in History Finally Revealed

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 9, 2026

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS: Bring your REAL ID or your passport, not a doodle on a napkin! 🚨 Elsewhere’s vibe is…

Chicago Shamrock Crawl – Wrigleyville’s St. Patrick’s Day Bar Crawl 25+Bars – Because Who Needs a Liver After March 17
Live

Chicago Shamrock Crawl – Wrigleyville’s St. Patrick’s Day Bar Crawl 25+Bars – Because Who Needs a Liver After March 17

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 9, 2026

The Emerald City of Wrigleyville is under a leprechaun curse this March 17th, forcing locals to abandon their dignity and…

Live

Max B’s MLK Weekend Pop-Up at Polygon Promises Free Entry—Just RSVP and Hope Your Name Isn’t on a No-Fly List

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 9, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Max B Invades Brooklyn Like a Hip-Hop Messiah Returning From Exile! 🚨 Get ready to witness history, suckers! Max…

The Art of Business Networking
Live

The Art of Business Networking

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 9, 2026

Welcome to The Art of Business Networking—where Zoom backgrounds are fancier than your résumé and “connection” means more than just…

IN-PERSON: Talk & Tour at GIANT Willow Grove 1/20 – Because Nothing Says Fun Like Grocery Store Small Talk
Live

IN-PERSON: Talk & Tour at GIANT Willow Grove 1/20 – Because Nothing Says Fun Like Grocery Store Small Talk

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 8, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Protein and Fiber to Save Humanity from Hunger! 🚨 On Tuesday, January 20th at 10:30am, our dietitian will…

Live

Build Wealth Through Property Investments | Galaxy of Homes Webinar – Because Your Couch Potato Portfolio Needs a Real Estate Intervention

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 8, 2026

Curious How the UK Property Market Can Work for You? (Spoiler: It Probably Won’t, But We’ll Try Anyway) 🏠💸 Join…

¿Quieres hacer brillar a tu equipo? Contrata un consultor de luz neon
Live

¿Quieres hacer brillar a tu equipo? Contrata un consultor de luz neon

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 8, 2026

¿Harto de que tu equipo funcione como un grupo de gatos en una lavadora? 🚿😼 Únete al taller donde aprenderás…

How to Build an AI System That Saves You Hours Every Week
Live

How to Build an AI System That Saves You Hours Every Week

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 8, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Humans Still Can’t Remember Their Own Passwords, So AI Will Now Do It For Them 🤖 In a…

Live

Schools Minister Promises SEND Reform That Might Actually Work This Time Maybe

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 8, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Government to “listen” to parents about SEND reforms—after years of ignoring them! Tune in Jan 14, 6-7pm for the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 85 86 87 … 257 Next

Latest posts

  • America Hates Everything Right Now Apparently Including Lake America
  • Tiger Woods swings by court for DUI plea tweak
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT claims upper hand as Iran’s economy collapses slowly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Trump winning Iran war with current strategy apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 9 weeks to go reframing election as capitalism vs socialism showdown

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.