Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Wish

Shinedown’s “Killing Fields” Triumphs, Proving Active Rock Still Exists (Apparently)
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown’s “Killing Fields” Triumphs, Proving Active Rock Still Exists (Apparently)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SHINEDOWN, bless their hearts, has done it again! Their latest auditory masterpiece, “Killing Fields”, has clawed its way to the…

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

So, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, bless his heart 🙄, is apparently shedding his mountain of muscle 💪 to morph into…

La Peña presents: “Nae Pasaran” (A Film So Riveting, You’ll Wish You Were Watching Paint Dry)
Live

La Peña presents: “Nae Pasaran” (A Film So Riveting, You’ll Wish You Were Watching Paint Dry)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 6, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Watch “Nae Pasaran” (2018) on September 7, 2025, at 6:30 PM (96 min runtime) at La Peña Cultural…

‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, great, another 💩Call of Duty movie is being forced upon us by the cinematic overlords at Paramount. Because what…

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’
Breaking, Music News

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s riveting “Louder” radio show, SNOT guitarist and resident genius Mikey Doling…

Ex-I PREVAIL Singer Throws Tantrum, Blames Band for His Inevitable Solo Flop
Breaking, Music News

Ex-I PREVAIL Singer Throws Tantrum, Blames Band for His Inevitable Solo Flop

Chord F. DiscordAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🙄 Ex-I PREVAIL vocalist Brian “Needs-Attention” Burkheiser, is now whining that “an unresolved dispute” with his former…

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Atlanta News First, purveyors of the finest clickbait, have graced us with a video report on the totally unexpected demise…

Brent Hinds, Who Used To Shred for MASTODON, Now Shredded by Motorcycle
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds, Who Used To Shred for MASTODON, Now Shredded by Motorcycle

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

So, apparently, according to Atlanta News First (who we totally trust, BTW 😉), Brent Hinds, ex-guitarist from that band your…

Ace Frehley Hilariously Rejects KISS’s Desperate Plea for Relevance at Vegas Fan Event
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley Hilariously Rejects KISS’s Desperate Plea for Relevance at Vegas Fan Event

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

In a groundbreaking exposé with Guitar World magazine, the one and only, the totally irreplaceable, and definitely-not-bitter-about-being-kicked-out-twice Ace Frehley, the…

PAX West 2025: Bandai Namco Attempts to Distract You From Elden Ring DLC With More Games
Games News, Live

PAX West 2025: Bandai Namco Attempts to Distract You From Elden Ring DLC With More Games

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Alright gamers, buckle up because Bandai Namco, bless their cotton socks, is apparently trying to distract us from the impending…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.