Oh, great, another cash grab! PINK FLOYD, bless their boomer hearts, are “celebrating” the 50th anniversary of “Wish You Were Here” because, you know, they need more money 💰. I mean, who doesn’t need another version of the same album they’ve already bought five times? This time it is “Wish You Were Here 50”. Prepare your wallets, folks, because Sony Music is about to milk this cow dry. They promise us “an exciting new perspective,” which, knowing them, probably means they found a slightly different EQ setting on one of the tracks and are calling it a “revelation.”🙄
“Wish You Were Here 50” will be available in every format imaginable, because apparently, your grandma’s phonograph, your car’s cassette player, and your smart toaster all need this album. We’re talking 3LP (because vinyl is still a thing, apparently), 2CD (for those who still have CD players in their bunkers), Blu-ray (because who needs visuals when you have the music?), digital (because, duh), and, the pièce de résistance, the Deluxe Box Set! It includes everything but the kitchen sink, including a replica Japanese 7″ single of “Have A Cigar” b/w “Welcome To The Machine”. I’m sure that’s what we all wanted. Don’t forget the exclusive 50th-anniversary Merchandise – because nothing says “I’m a dedicated fan” like a PINK FLOYD-branded toilet seat cover.🚽
To whet our insatiable appetites (or, more likely, to justify the exorbitant price tag), they’re releasing a previously unheard demo of “Welcome To The Machine,” originally titled “The Machine Song” which is far from epic, and probably should’ve stayed buried in the vault. They also claim to have found Roger Waters‘s original demo, which probably sounds like a cat being strangled while he mumbles about the evils of capitalism. Other “rarities” include an instrumental version of “Wish You Were Here,” because who needs David Gilmour‘s vocals when you can hear him noodle on a pedal steel guitar? And, for the first time EVER, they’re stitching together the two halves of “Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” as if we haven’t been doing that ourselves for the past 50 years.🙄
Apparently, “Wish You Were Here” is a “mainstay on all-time greatest albums lists,” which just proves how predictable and unoriginal those lists are. It was PINK FLOYD‘s first album to reach the top of the charts on both sides of the Atlantic, because, you know, everyone loves a good dose of existential dread. They were responding to their newfound global fame, because nothing says “we’re just like you” like a bunch of millionaires complaining about being famous. 🙄
With its themes of absence, isolation, and the insincerity of the music business, “Wish You Were Here” is the perfect soundtrack for your next existential crisis. And let’s not forget the album artwork, featuring two guys shaking hands while one of them is on fire 🔥. Deep stuff, man. So deep that it can burn you!
Aubrey “Po” Powell reminisces about the good old days when album covers were as important as the music, because, you know, people actually bought physical albums back then. He recalls asking Storm Thorgerson how they were going to set a man on fire for real, because CGI wasn’t a thing yet. Ah, the sacrifices they made for art! He also reminds us that PINK FLOYD were special snowflakes who had creative control over their album covers, unlike all those other bands who were just puppets of the record label. 🐑
In conclusion, “Wish You Were Here” still sounds “resonant and vital” whatever that means. This anniversary edition allows fans to “delve deeper” into a pivotal moment in PINK FLOYD‘s history, which basically translates to “give us your money so we can buy another yacht”. So, go ahead, pre-order your copy now, and prepare to be underwhelmed all over again. You know you want to.😈
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
