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Tag: Wish

Hold My Hamberder: Why Trump Can’t Nuke Election Day (He’s Too Busy Doing This Weird Thing) | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hold My Hamberder: Why Trump Can’t Nuke Election Day (He’s Too Busy Doing This Weird Thing) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

**TRUMP PLAYfully TROLLS FAKE NEWS MEDIA BY ‘JOKING’ ABOUT CANCELLING 2026 ELECTIONS (Because Why Bother When You’re Winning This Bigly?)**…

‘God of War’ TV Series Finally Finds Someone Angry Enough to Play Kratos (It’s Some Dude From ‘The Santa Clarita Diet’)
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

‘God of War’ TV Series Finally Finds Someone Angry Enough to Play Kratos (It’s Some Dude From ‘The Santa Clarita Diet’)

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: It only took them the entire Age of the Ancients, a few cycles of Ragnarok, and probably…

A ‘Phenomenal’ Actor Has Been Picked To Play The Prince of Darkness In Upcoming Biopic
Breaking, Music News

A ‘Phenomenal’ Actor Has Been Picked To Play The Prince of Darkness In Upcoming Biopic

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

Hold onto your bat-biting handbags, rock and roll eternity enthusiasts, because the saga of the Prince of Darkness is officially…

NAPALM DEATH Is Recording Demos For Band’s Seventeenth Studio Album (And The Sound Of Your Soul Screaming Is Inspiration)
Breaking, Music News

NAPALM DEATH Is Recording Demos For Band’s Seventeenth Studio Album (And The Sound Of Your Soul Screaming Is Inspiration)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: NAPALM DEATH ENTERS STUDIO TO RECORD ALBUM #17, WORLD STILL NOT READY FOR THE AURAL ASSAULT 🚨 💥…

Nintendo Switch 2: Our 2026 Wishlist of Hopes, Dreams, and Mildly Unreasonable Demands
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Switch 2: Our 2026 Wishlist of Hopes, Dreams, and Mildly Unreasonable Demands

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

Behold, the Nintendo Switch 2 has been alive for a whole six months — a milestone so grand, we’re practically…

HELIX’s BRIAN VOLLMER Says Retirement Is For People Who Can’t Rock An Air Guitar In Their Sleep
Breaking, Music News

HELIX’s BRIAN VOLLMER Says Retirement Is For People Who Can’t Rock An Air Guitar In Their Sleep

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

HELIX’s Brian Vollmer, 70-something and still belting like a banshee who just found out her favorite coffee shop switched to…

The Odds: Pres. Trump’s Plan to Buy Greenland Like It’s a Timeshare in Hell
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Odds: Pres. Trump’s Plan to Buy Greenland Like It’s a Timeshare in Hell

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Trump’s Greenland Gambit: When the Art of the Deal Meets the Art of the Iceberg In a move that has…

This is Bigger Than Oil, It’s About the New US National Security Strategy Says Meyer Resources CEO
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

This is Bigger Than Oil, It’s About the New US National Security Strategy Says Meyer Resources CEO

Big ElephantJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Breaking: U.S. Oil Giants Eye Venezuela Amid ‘Globalist Elite’ Plot to Steal Our Energy Independence – Again! In a stunning…

MAX CAVALERA Prays for A.I. Friendship Bracelets While Robots Plot World Domination
Breaking, Music News

MAX CAVALERA Prays for A.I. Friendship Bracelets While Robots Plot World Domination

Chord F. DiscordDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

Move Over, Mozart: Max Cavalera Declares War on Robot Rockers and AI-Generated “Soul” Music 🤖🎸 In a shocking turn of…

PAUL DI’ANNO Left Us a Live Album Because Apparently Dying Wasn’t Enough Drama
Breaking, Music News

PAUL DI’ANNO Left Us a Live Album Because Apparently Dying Wasn’t Enough Drama

Chord F. DiscordDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

The Metal Messiah’s Posthumous Encore: Paul Di’Anno’s Ghost Band Drops Live Album from Beyond the Grave 🎤⚰️ In a move…

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Latest posts

  • Washington Residents Get Free Barbecue Courtesy of Wildfire Season
  • Investors eager to throw money at Venezuela’s powder keg economy
  • Laniidae in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
  • GODSMACK Appears To 700,000 People At Poland’s POL’AND’ROCK FESTIVAL
  • Enemies & Allies in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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