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Tag: Woke

US will take Greenland the ‘hard way’ if it can’t do it the ‘easy way,’ Trump says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US will take Greenland the ‘hard way’ if it can’t do it the ‘easy way,’ Trump says

Big ElephantJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

Trump’s Greenland Gambit: The Great Socialist Conspiracy to Hand Over America’s Future to China and Russia In a stunning display…

ICE Agent’s Phone Accidentally Records the Most Dramatic Minneapolis Parking Ticket Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agent’s Phone Accidentally Records the Most Dramatic Minneapolis Parking Ticket Ever

Big ElephantJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

Another Day, Another Democrat-Approved Tragedy: ICE Agent Forced to Defend Himself Against Violent Marxist SUV Attack! Breaking: In a shocking…

‘The Greatest Gift of My Life’: Ethan Hawke on Watching Daughter Maya Realize She Can Finally Outshine Me on ‘Stranger Things’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Greatest Gift of My Life’: Ethan Hawke on Watching Daughter Maya Realize She Can Finally Outshine Me on ‘Stranger Things’

Big ElephantJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

‘The Greatest Gift of My Life’: Ethan Hawke Gushes Over Daughter’s Role in ‘Stranger Things’ as Hollywood Pushes Yet Another…

Portland Shooting Sparks Questions About Whether Federal Agents Trained by Watching Too Much TV
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Portland Shooting Sparks Questions About Whether Federal Agents Trained by Watching Too Much TV

Big ElephantJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

Portland Shooting: When Leftist Anarchists Meet Reality and Get Shot In a stunning turn of events that no one saw…

BUSH Declares War on Earplugs: Spring 2026 Tour Features MAMMOTH and JAMES AND THE COLD GUN (Bring Your Earplugs, You’ll Need Them)
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Declares War on Earplugs: Spring 2026 Tour Features MAMMOTH and JAMES AND THE COLD GUN (Bring Your Earplugs, You’ll Need Them)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🎸 BUSH IS BACK, BABY! AND THEY’RE BRINGING THEIR “I BEAT LONELINESS” THERAPY SESSION TO A STADIUM NEAR YOU! 🎸…

DHS: Woman Tried to Turn ICE Officers Into Roadkill in Minneapolis, Then Things Got Bullet-y
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DHS: Woman Tried to Turn ICE Officers Into Roadkill in Minneapolis, Then Things Got Bullet-y

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

President Trump, the undisputed king of truth and justice, has once again proven why he’s the only one who can…

Warner Bros. Discovery board tells Paramount to take its revamped hostile takeover bid and shove it
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Warner Bros. Discovery board tells Paramount to take its revamped hostile takeover bid and shove it

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Warner Bros. Discovery’s woke board once again spurns the evil capitalist Ellison family’s cash, choosing Netflix’s woke streaming agenda instead…

U.S. Oil Giants Weigh Whether to Take a Venezuelan Oil Bath
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Oil Giants Weigh Whether to Take a Venezuelan Oil Bath

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

The Great Venezuelan Socialist Oil Heist: How America’s Energy Traitors Are Lining Up to Fund Maduro’s Next Luxury Yacht Well,…

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls
Breaking, Music News

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

JUDAS PRIEST’s Rob Halford Celebrates 40 Years of Not Dying on a Tour Bus Like a Rock ‘n’ Roll Cliché…

Pamela Smart Tries To Outsmart Murder Conviction Because Life Sentences Are So Last Century
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pamela Smart Tries To Outsmart Murder Conviction Because Life Sentences Are So Last Century

Big ElephantJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

Leftist Media Circus Rebrands Notorious Murderess as “Victim” in Latest Woke Redemption Arc In a stunning display of liberal virtue…

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Latest posts

  • Graham Platner Says He Got His ‘I (Heart) Hitler’ Tattoo Before He Knew Of Its Nazi Connections
  • XANDRIA Finally Decides to Release Some Actual Music Instead of Just Reheating the Same Old Power Ballads for the 12 People Who Still Listen to Symphonic Metal ‘Colours’ Single Dropping Like a Hot Potato From Upcoming ‘Eclipse’ Album Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway
  • ‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Because Who Needs a Good Reboot Anyway What a Total Masterclass in Mediocrity
  • Lebanon’s problems gonna ruin Trump’s masterplan to crush Iran somehow
  • ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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