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Tag: Woke

Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake
Elephant Reads CNN

Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another disaster, probably caused by some woke engineer who was too busy virtue signaling to check the structural…

High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie
Elephant Reads CNN

High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, isn’t that precious? These young, probably God-fearing, football players are helping veterans. Finally, some good news that doesn’t involve…

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows
Elephant Reads CNN

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the heartwarming tale of a Christmas tree farm in Wooster, Ohio! It’s just precious how Rita Dush is keeping…

Hospitals: The New Five-Star Orphanage for DCS Drop-offs
Elephant Reads CNN

Hospitals: The New Five-Star Orphanage for DCS Drop-offs

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Democrat-run state! Can you believe this nonsense? These poor kids are stuck in…

Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)
Elephant Reads CNN

Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the horror! Lexington, SC, is shutting down for a Christmas parade! Can you believe the woke mob is letting…

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human
Elephant Reads CNN

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another victim of the radical left’s open-borders policy – this time, it’s a five-year-old girl attacked by a…

Car Goes Zoom, Then Bang-Bang: Cops Win Again
Elephant Reads CNN

Car Goes Zoom, Then Bang-Bang: Cops Win Again

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another crime in the once-great city of New York, now a liberal hellhole! A car chase, a shootout…

PB Schools Get Swagged Out With Enough Supplies to Trigger a Supply Chain Crisis
Elephant Reads CNN

PB Schools Get Swagged Out With Enough Supplies to Trigger a Supply Chain Crisis

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the generosity! Palm Beach County, now a haven for socialist indoctrination, is giving away “free” school supplies. “Free” as…

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing
Elephant Reads CNN

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Eagles fans celebrate with gluttony and booze! Is this what our Founding Fathers envisioned? Probably not, but at least they’re…

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers
Breaking, Movie News

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh honey, you thought the struggle for queer rights was over? 🙄 Well, buckle up buttercup, because Corey Payette’s Starwalker…

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Latest posts

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  • ‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Because Who Needs a Good Reboot Anyway What a Total Masterclass in Mediocrity
  • Lebanon’s problems gonna ruin Trump’s masterplan to crush Iran somehow
  • ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE
  • ICE detainees whine about free lodging at Delaney Hall apparently

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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