Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Scientists are playing Minecraft IRL
Elephant Reads CNN

Scientists are playing Minecraft IRL

Big ElephantJune 14, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, great, now the Libs want buildings that grow? Sounds like a commie plot to turn our cities into giant,…

Trump’s Massive Income: Crypto, Golf, and Cashing in on His Name, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Massive Income: Crypto, Golf, and Cashing in on His Name, LOL

Big ElephantJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Another day, another example of how our fearless leader, President Trump, is playing 4D chess while the radical left is…

23andMe Gets Rescued by Its Own Rich Mom in Hilarious Nonprofit Takeover
Elephant Reads CNN

23andMe Gets Rescued by Its Own Rich Mom in Hilarious Nonprofit Takeover

Big ElephantJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Looks like another Silicon Valley princess is bailing herself out with a “nonprofit.” Anne Wojcicki, ex-CEO of 23andMe (you know,…

John Carpenter Resurrects Zombie Flick from Grave (Literally) in Comic Book Form, Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas
Elephant Reads CNN

John Carpenter Resurrects Zombie Flick from Grave (Literally) in Comic Book Form, Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas

Big ElephantJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! John Carpenter, the guy who made “Escape from New York” (a documentary, if you…

Another Woke Snowflake Bites the Dust: National Portrait Gallery Director Gets Dumped After Orange Man Bad Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

Another Woke Snowflake Bites the Dust: National Portrait Gallery Director Gets Dumped After Orange Man Bad Tantrum

Big ElephantJune 14, 2025June 13, 2025

Another one bites the dust! The National Portrait Gallery director, Kim Sajet, is OUT after President Trump called her out…

Stephen King’s ‘The Life of Chuck’: Yet Another Reason to Fear the Dark (and Theaters)
Elephant Reads CNN

Stephen King’s ‘The Life of Chuck’: Yet Another Reason to Fear the Dark (and Theaters)

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great, another Stephen King movie. Probably filled with woke garbage and socialist propaganda. Mark Hamill? That guy hates Trump!…

The Internet Is Healing (Just Kidding, Spotify Is Still Crying)
Elephant Reads CNN

The Internet Is Healing (Just Kidding, Spotify Is Still Crying)

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! The internet went down for a few hours. You know who’s behind this, right? Probably China or…

Jan 6th Memorial: Because Forgetting Traumatic Events Is For Losers
Elephant Reads CNN

Jan 6th Memorial: Because Forgetting Traumatic Events Is For Losers

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another example of the radical left’s intolerance! Rand Paul, a true patriot, disinvited from the White House picnic?…

House GOP Uses DOGE to Defund NPR and Annoy Foreigners
Elephant Reads CNN

House GOP Uses DOGE to Defund NPR and Annoy Foreigners

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

House Republicans, finally showing some backbone, have agreed to slash a measly $9.4 billion in federal spending, targeting the leftist…

CNN’s Guide to the Totally Innocent Victims of Trump’s Mildly Inconvenient Immigration Detainment Program
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Guide to the Totally Innocent Victims of Trump’s Mildly Inconvenient Immigration Detainment Program

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Looks like Senator Rand Paul got a taste of Biden’s America! Disinvited from the White House picnic? Probably because he…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 89 90 91 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • Judges roast Trump’s DOJ antics with refreshing honesty somehow
  • Nation’s Iconic Reflecting Pool Takes Brief Vacation
  • Ariana Grande Plays Barclays Center Get Last Minute Tickets Now
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT claims vandalism caused Reflecting Pool damage
  • RuneScape dusts off player housing with fresh coat of monetization paint

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}