The Department of Homeland Security warned that the use of toxins, such as ricin and cyanide, to poison domestic partners has increased over the last five years, driven by several factors including accessibility of online information, ease of obtaining certain chemicals, and perceived difficulty in detection. What do you think?
“Just use dark magick like a grown adult.”
Rick Torres, Towelette Moistener
“Not me. Poison’s strictly for strangers.”
Peter Guzenski, Unemployed
“Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to live spitefully with the person I hate for the rest of my life.”
Deirdre Connolly, Popcorn Flavorer
The post Report: Poisonings Of Domestic Partners Have Increased appeared first on The Onion.
The Department of Homeland Security warned that the use of toxins, such as ricin and cyanide, to poison domestic partners has increased over the last five years, driven by several factors including accessibility of online information, ease of obtaining certain chemicals, and perceived difficulty in detection. What do you think?
The post Report: Poisonings Of Domestic Partners Have Increased appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
