SIOUX CITY, IA—Making the dire prediction shortly after being terminated for substandard work, marketing analyst Ryan Bronson, who was laid off solely for performance-related reasons Wednesday, warned that artificial intelligence was coming for everyone. “Yup, the way things are going, not a single one of us is safe from the threat of AI replacing us,” said Bronson, whose frequent unexcused absences and routine missing of important deadlines had been an ongoing liability for the management team of Edgewater Interactive for the past several months. “Mark my words: With the rise of automation, it’s only a matter of time before you’re all gone. Sure, things like downloading malware onto my work computer or putting incorrect information into investor slide decks gave the powers-that-be an excuse to use me as a sacrificial lamb, but really it could have been any one of us.” Bronson added that the soulless bean counters at the company wouldn’t think twice about saving a few bucks on unfeeling algorithms that didn’t require sexual harassment retraining on five separate occasions.
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SIOUX CITY, IA—Making the dire prediction shortly after being terminated for substandard work, marketing analyst Ryan Bronson, who was laid off solely for performance-related reasons Wednesday, warned that artificial intelligence was coming for everyone. “Yup, the way things are going, not a single one of us is safe from the threat of AI replacing us,”
The post Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
