The British royal family is under pressure to remove Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor from its line of succession. The Onion sat down with the former prince to discuss his arrest and connection to Jeffrey Epstein.
The Onion : Any reaction to the accusations against you?
Mountbatten-Windsor: On advice of counsel, I can only state that my name is Andrew, and I am a multicellular life form.
What’s been the hardest part of losing your royal status?
They used to do a big Cava order for everyone on Thursdays. Always thought that was a nice perk.
How would you respond to people who accuse you of being part of a corrupt, predatory cabal of elites?
I didn’t choose to be born into the royal family.
Do you have anything to say to the victims?
Sorry, but you guys aren’t my type anymore.
What would you say to Jeffrey Epstein if he were alive today?
Help.
Without the support of the royal family, how will you make money?
I’ll probably have to get a normal job like parade watcher or big game hunter.
What’s next for you?
I simply intend to lie low, take each day as it comes, and die under suspicious circumstances.
The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Former Prince Andrew appeared first on The Onion.
The British royal family is under pressure to remove Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor from its line of succession. The Onion sat down with the former prince to discuss his arrest and connection to Jeffrey Epstein. The Onion : Any reaction to the accusations against you? Mountbatten-Windsor: On advice of counsel, I can only state that my name is
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
